How to Navigate Life (through each season of aging)

How to Navigate Life (through each season of aging)

Like sailing from Hawaii to San Francisco, life has some navigational tips for each of us at every stage or season of our life. 

Allow me to quickly define the four seasons of life, generally,

1st season: birth to 25 years of age: growing, school

2nd: 26 to 50: possible marriage, children, teens, career

3rd season: 51-75: empty nesters, second wind

4th season: 76 to the finish line; more obvious changes in physical abilities, mental capacity, health challenges have accumulated and shown up.

I did that sailing trip from Hawaii to San Francisco in the summer of 1980 with a learning curve like much of life.  As rather novice sailors we bought a 32’ sailboat that we loved from friends in Hawaii, flew with a lot of gear, prepped the sadly dilapidated boat 12 hours a day for 3 weeks then pushed off.  Our goal or destination was to hit landfall in San Francisco which we did 23 days later.  That is step one in navigating life. 

Step 1. What is the destination? 

With a partner on board, the three of us traded 2-hour watches every 24-hour period.  Each of us was on watch for 2 hours then off for 4 hours, then repeat. (On a watch you keep looking for any danger in the water like floating cargo containers, or ships approaching on a collision course). We paid attention and were ready to respond quickly to changes. That is step two, pay attention. Be ready for changes.

Step 2.  Pay attention

To reach our destination we needed to know where we were in that big Pacific Ocean so at noon each day the two men each took sightings of the sun to calculate mathematically where we were on the chart. I trusted them and was not interested in learning how to do the math or use a slide rule or calculator.

At this season of my life, that would be nearing the fourth season, with my husband recently diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment or early dementia, new things are showing up that need attention.  His comments let me know he is worried about what will happen to him should I precede him in death; who will take care of him and where will he sleep and eat.  So, at this season of life, we are visiting a variety of senior living communities so he can get a feel now for his choices and make some early decisions.  That way his children will know his desires and early plans will be in place for him.  All this is to give him some peace of mind and assure him he does not have to worry.

In no way am I ready to move into a senior living community, but my health could turn in a moment.  That is my reality after a serious auto accident a year ago that could have been disastrous. So, I am paying attention, being aware, watching and ready for a shift in our weather so I am ready to change sails or reef the main sail for a sudden gale that is approaching. Being ready is step three in navigating life.

Step 3. Be ready

I encourage you to be paying attention to your life, be aware and ready to what might be coming and be prepared.  Live life with intention.

Elisa Hawkinson
Professional Organizer | Author Calming Your Chaos | Leader of the Smooth Organizer Community
www.elisahawkinson.com

about

Elisa (Lisa) Hawkinson

 

 

Since 2000 Elisa (Lisa) Hawkinson, author of Calming Your Chaos, has been teaching and training businesses and individuals to support anyone who is not naturally organized on a consistent basis to be just that. Her HOW2GetOrganized seminars, workshops, and speaking along with hands-on coaching and coaching by phone has evolved from her natural genetic bent for order. Efficiency, calm, productivity and profitability are increased with the help of HOW2 and Elisa.

 

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How To Make Your Website is You #1 Marketing Tool

How To Make Your Website is You #1 Marketing Tool

You should think of your website as the #1 marketing tool in your business. When people hear of a business one of the first things they do is check out their website. This means it is often the first point of contact with a potential client and often what makes them decide if they want to know more. So, what can you do to make sure that your website is doing the job of a top marketing tool? 

  • Keep your site looking good. Make sure your site design is current and meets the expectation of your industry. If it is obvious that your site has not been updated in a decade you lose some credibility. 
  • Make it easy for users to find the information they are looking for. The more someone has to search for something the less likely they are to stay on your site. Frustration results in website exits. 
  • Make sure your contact information is up-to-date. It may seem obvious, but many businesses will forget to update email addresses, phone numbers and addresses. 
  • Offer relevant and compelling content that meets the needs of your website visitor and shows why your business is a good fit.
  • Make your call to action buttons, links and forms easy to find and simple to use. If the user has to hunt for a call to action, they will not do anything. 
  • Reduce drop off points on your site. Look at your analytics and determine where people tend to leave your site and create a path to keep them there. This could be adding a link to read more, offering a related blog post or including a call to action.
  • Make sure your site is mobile friendly. Many users will never access your site from a computer and instead use a smart phone or tablet. Make sure that your site looks great on any computer or device. 

 Your website should not only attract your ideal clients, but it should also communicate your offerings clearly to disqualify people who will never work with you. By ensuring that your site is user friendly, offers value and leads visitors into your sales funnel you increase the chances that your ideal website visitors become clients.  

about

Danielle LaFleur

Danielle is a serial entrepreneur and has been creating and running businesses for over 20 years. She currently operates Easy As Pie Design, a website design firm and Build Your Mastermind, a business consulting agency.

Danielle has been featured in over 30 publications, worked with National Geographic in over 50+ countries, and has created a process for extracting an ROI from an ROE in training and development which is currently being used in over 100+ corporations.

Danielle encourages all of those that work with her to deep dive into their values, maximize those natural talents and skills, and create the life they have always dreamed of. She is a full believer that when you align yourself with who you are meant to be, there is an opportunity around every corner.

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5 Ways to Be a Confident Woman

5 Ways to Be a Confident Woman

One of the missions of Fave Lifestyles is to help women gain confidence in their lives. Whether it is in your career or your personal life being confident is important to being comfortable in your life. We have compiled five things that confident women do every day of their lives for you to incorporate into your own life.

Don’t Say Yes Unless You Really Want Too

It can be really hard to say no. Often we find ourselves saying yes to things we really don’t want to do at the expense of our time and well-being. A confident woman knows that saying no to certain things means saying yes to themselves, their families, friends and goals. Be comfortable saying no!

Take 100% Responsibility for Your Life

When we realize that we are 100% responsible for our lives we gain confidence in our decisions and our feelings. Of course, there are situations and circumstances that are out of our control, but we can control our reactions. If we are responsible for our reactions, we can moderate our feelings and make decisions from a place of control instead of emotion.

Listen More than You Speak

Confident women listen more than they speak because they feel that they have nothing to prove. Women with confidence know that by actively listening and paying attention to others, they are much more likely to learn and grow.

Support Other Women

Confident women support and celebrate the success of other women. They know that there is enough success to go around and we do not have to tear each other down or negate the success of others to elevate ourselves.

Don’t Over Apologize

If you have actually done something that warrants and apology, then you should say you are sorry, but many women use the word sorry way more than they should. Have you found yourself prefacing an opinion with ‘sorry, but I think that_________.” Why do we feel the need to apologize for an opinion? Confident women do not feel the need to apologize for thoughts, feelings or opinions. They state what they think and move on.

Most women struggle with confidence in some area of their lives. Confidence can ebb and flow based in the situation and phase of life you are currently in. By building confidence in these five areas you are on a good path to feeling confidence throughout your entire life.

about

Karen Rae

I was becoming an empty nester, a woman of a more interesting age and in transition. Sound familiar? I was at that place where we question our purpose, value, and worth and what in the world are we going to do with the rest of our lives.

I noticed women have a huge hunger to belong to a community of women where they can feel safe, share openly from their heart and have other women to do life with! This is why I created my Fave Lifestyles.

Fave is for the woman who wants to call Fave her community of women who support, uplift, and make her feel better about herself. I want to create a place where we help her answer life's questions and just do life together!

Let's Do Life Together at Fave Lifestyles

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What you Make it Mean for You

What you Make it Mean for You

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation with someone who gets heated and is trying to get you worked up about something?

Have you ever had someone try to convince you that you are to blame for their problems?

Has anyone ever assumed the worst of your intentions and you are completely confused by their perception?

In any given situation you find yourself in, you get to decide how it will affect you. Someone could be acting complety inappropriate and even trying to pull you into what they are feeling or thinking.  However, the most important thing we can realize and get good at doing in these stiuations is seeing it objectively and for what it is, ALL ABOUT THEM. Their actions and perceptions have nothing to do with you, because we all see things through our own filters, and we create what things mean. We get to choose our outlook, and we need to take accountablility for our own behavior.

We can choose to take on the emotions the other person is exhibiting, or we can step back and find objectivity.  When we take it in as if it means something about us, that is when we behave differently and act defensively. We can sometimes do this if we are not centered with our inner strength and have a firm hold on a positive self image.

How can we stay centered, and be firm in our self image?

Inner Diologue

This is where it can get convoluted. We all have our perceptions and stories we tell ourselves. If we have had a lot of past negative experiences, sometimes that inner diologue is not very pleasant and we can even come to expect bad things to happen to us.  When we keep hold on the negative diologue or expectations, we are keeping ourselves from creating a better result. Instead, focus on thoughts that invoke better feelings. These thoughts can be of your strengths, past successes, other people’s positive comments about you. Latch on to what builds you and can create a positive outlook. Separate yourself from someone elses behavior, you can not control or make anyone behave a certain way, so it truly is about them. Challenge the negative expectations or conclusions in how you are reacting and what you are making it mean for you.

Getting Objective

One of the best things you can do is step back from the situation and see it objectively, look at through curious eyes as an observer. You can do this by looking at the facts of the situation, removing any emotion from it. Separate the facts of what happened away from how you responded. This can help you see that the situation (one that you did not create) as just that, whatever the situation is. Then you can look at what you were feeling, how you responded and what thought went through your mind. Now you have something to work with. It takes effort and patience to really see it differently, be sure to take your time with it. Change the thought to something productive, positive and believable and build from there.

Keep at it, keep going and keep tapping into your inner strength by focusing on what you can control – your thoughts, and actions. Find why you are making it mean something about you, challenge those thoughts and change them to truth and positivity. You will no longer be rattled by others behavior; you will simply stay centered and be a curious observer.

about

Rae Ann Hall

 

Rae Ann Hall is the founder of Forward Principles. She is an author, speaker, and a mindset/results coach. Having had success in the business world as well as overcoming major adversities in her personal life, she brings an authentic message with a lot of heart and passion. She teaches actionable ways to get past difficulties, getting you results and motivating you to get after your dreams. Her own experiences of bringing her pain into purpose, inspires others to do the same.

Her honor is coaching people and encouraging them by providing practical tools and Forward Principles to get inspired and motivated. She helps people discover ways they can put action toward their goals through her "Result Cycle" Process. It is a thrill for her to see her clients push past limiting beliefs by tapping into their inner strength, and living their life on purpose with passion.

With Guest Authors: 
Dani Green - Dani Green
Catherine White - Accelerated Results 365
Diana Ruiz - Diana E Ruiz

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Secret to Having More Energy

Secret to Having More Energy

Feeling tired is one of the top ten complaints I hear from my clients. When we feel tired the natural outcome is feeling there is not enough time to get what you need to get done. This becomes frustrating because most clients have goals and dreams that are kept on the back burner until they feel they have time and energy. If this resonates you’ll be happy to know that enjoying more energy which leads to being able to make the most of your time isn’t as complex as you might have thought.

First lets get on the same page regarding the stress and energy connection as shared in my book “Healing Your Life with Water – How to Use Your Mind, Body and Water Connection to Awaken Your Inner Fountain of Youth”.  The foundation of youthful vibrancy is dependent on your Mind, Body and Water connection.  Let me explain: You are born with a body that rejuvenates itself entirely every seven years. For instance your bones are brand new every three to four years. You have a new liver every six weeks (awesome right?).  The lining of your stomach is renewed every three days. So you are born with a body that wants to stay young naturally. Water is at the core of all of that rejuvenation; inhaling nutrients and exhaling toxins all at the cellular level.  Drinking enough water keeps this rejuvenating “flow” happening.  However stress can slow the flow quite literally. When we are stressed our circulation literally constricts. Think of a hose that is bent making it hard for water to get through.  When we are stressed all of that beautiful rejuvenating flow is s-l-o-w-e-d down.  When the circulatory system gets constricted because of stress it affects everything. There is a lot of science behind it however If you have experienced exhaustion after going through a stressful situation you have felt the stress/energy connection first hand.

BIGGEST CULPRIT – RELATIONSHIPS

Pat Swan, M.S., CMFT, a marriage and family therapist, states, “More than 90 percent of my clients suffering from depression, anxiety or other mental illnesses have one primary complaint—relationship problems at work or at home.  If stress and fear constricts our circulation and slows our rejuvenation – and our relationships cause the bulk of that stress—the most logical thing to do in youthful vitality is to create peaceful relationships.

In 1977 Dr. John Knowles, President of the Rockefeller Foundation, wrote in DAEDALUS, (Winter, 1977): “80% of serious illnesses seem to develop when the individual feels helpless or hopeless.”

In my experience our relationships can leave us feeling helpless. People have a habit of NOT doing, saying or acting in a way that we feel would make us happiest.  Trying to get someone to change – even for their own good – can be a frustrating task.  When we stop and think about how hugely difficult is to bring about healthy change in our own lives we can get an idea of how impossible it is to change someone else.

BEST PRACTICES FOR ENERGIZING RELATIONSHIP

The way to turn any relationship into an energy booster instead of an energy zapper is to feel empowered within it.  Feelings of empowerment and confidence are the opposite of feelings of helplessness. Biologically speaking feeling empowered and confident actually creates a relaxed response which “opens up your rejuvenating flow”. In other words it increases circulation.

But you may be thinking that all sounds nice but “how in the heck can I suddenly feel empowered instead of frustrated when I have no control over what someone else does?” Believe me, I get it!!  I’ve been there before. The good news is that feeling empowered in our relationships has nothing to do with what others say and do.  I’ll share a story to illustrate what I mean. A man, let’s call him George, is driving down the highway during the holidays and is unceremoniously cut off by a car with a Christmas tree tied to the roof.  George is immediately hot under the collar and speeds up to give the driver a piece of his mind. As he gets closer his focus is entirely on the car and its occupants…he peers in the window and notices the message scrawled on the back window “Welcome home from Iraq Daddy.”  Immediately George feels a surge of compassion and slows to allow plenty of room for the veteran and his family. Can you see that the situation was the same. The only thing that changed was how he SAW the situation and his emotions followed suit.  Compassion is a VERY rejuvenating emotion.

I will share a few exercises that will help you find a way to access a new level of compassion with those challenging relationships. We hold the power to transform our relationships by taking full responsibility or our reactions and how we feel. How we feel affects every aspect of our emotional, spiritual and physical health. You hold all of the cards.

TOOLS TO ENERGIZE

Search your mind for a moment and find a challenging relationship to work with.  Asking the following questions may help you narrow it down.

Who do I wish I could get along better with? Who do I wish treated me better? Who frustrates or angers me the most? 

When you have chosen a relationship to work on the next step is to assess how strongly you feel about it. Ask yourself “On a scale of 1-10 how much does it bother me that things aren’t the way I would like it to be. On the scale one means you are completely relaxed about it and ten means you are losing sleep over it.

Now use the same scale to measure your energy level as you are thinking about this relationship

The goal is to “lighten up” how you feel about the situation. Lighter emotions give us energy – heavy emotions slow us down. Again you are not trying to change anyone else’s behavior. Try the following exercises to help change your perspective.

  1. GRATITUDE EXERCISE: Find something to be grateful for in the situation. This can be enough to lighten up your perception internally. Remember your are offering your brain some positive feedback to hang onto so it can replace the painful thoughts that you hold currently. For instance I had a rough first marriage and carried a grudge and some painful memories which I held onto tightly…almost as a consolation prize. I knew that I had to change up the heavy feelings I carried for my own health. It was difficult however after some soul searching I decided that my three children were a blessing that came from that marriage so I wrote and repeated; “I am grateful for my marriage because it gave me three beautiful children.” This was enough to lighten up how I felt. When you complete this exercise measure the intensity of how you feel once again. Then re-measure your energy level.
  2. Quantum Confidence Technique: This exercise is derived from a method I developed.

Think of your troubling relationship and measure how much it bothers you on a scale 1-10 as before. Then measure your energy level as you are thinking about it.

Repeat the following phrase aloud.

Even though this really bothers me I am open to relaxing about it

Even though this really bothers me I am open to relaxing about it

Even though this really bothers me I am open to relaxing about it

And I am open to feeling empowered to move forward freely in a w ay that feels good and comfortable.

And I am open to new ideas to do this.

I am open to feeling bothered and empowered at the same time

When you complete this exercise measure the intensity of how you feel once again. Then re-measure your energy level.

If you feel lighter great. If you feel as strong or stronger repeat the mantra again only this time after you repeat the first line three times say this:

“Even though I WANT to feel this way.

That doesn’t make any sense but I’ve been feeling this way for awhile

so MAYBE there is a tiny part of me that WANTS to feel this way.

But that’s ok

I’m open to relaxing about it anyway”

Then continue along with the rest of it.

Think of your troubling relationship and measure how much it bothers you on a scale 1-10 as before. Then measure your energy level as you are thinking about it.

If you are feeling lighter congratulations. Keep these tools handy to help you lighten up with your relationships at work or home.

Good luck and good health.

Visit www.dianaeruiz.com for transforming life, health and business from the inside out.

Grief Recovery Method® Specialist
www.DianaERuiz.com

about

Diana E. Ruiz, M.A.

Diana E. Ruiz MA helps women entrepreneurs resolve deep losses in life and relationships through practical steps so they can feel good in their skin again and experience their true brilliance in life and business. “The work Diana does is personally freeing and liberating…the added bonus? I am on fire in my business!” Rae Anne Hall – CEO Forward Principles – Diana is an Author, Grief Recovery Method Specialist®, Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner

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