Fave Celebrate 1st Year!

Fave Celebrate 1st Year!

Fave Celebrate 1st Year!

I am so excited to announce that tickets are available for our next big Fave event! 2019 was the first full year of Fave Lifestyles and I want to set aside an evening to celebrate! 

Join me November 21st, 6 pm-8 pm at The Woodhouse Wine Estates in Woodinville for an evening of food, wine, and celebration. We will be filming a Fave Lifestyles show LIVE with Chef Anne Marie. You can purchase your tickets and learn more about the event by clicking the image below! 

GET YOUR TICKETS TODAY!

Fave Celebrates 1st Year!

Day: November 21st 6 pm – 8 pm
Location: Woodhouse Wine Estates
Filming LIVE: Chef Anne Marie
 

 

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Important Piece for the New Empty Nester

Important Piece for the New Empty Nester

Important Piece for the New Empty Nester

Inevitably the season or quarter of life [2nd (26yrs-50 yrs) or 3rd (51yrs-75yrs)] arrives when the children as young adults move out, or at least part of them moves out. Teaching and helping them become successful adults, or adulting, as it is now being referred to, remains in play. The job of the adult parent is to set the boundaries for how much and for how long their stuff can continue to reside or be stored in your home or garage, attic or basement.

Have you had the experience of your grown children’s stuff still in your garage and you are growing tired of it? Consider if it is reasonable to keep their cabbage patch doll in your garage when the man child is 39 years old and not yet married. Would he really want to show Miss Right his doll that is in the mom’s garage? Doubt if she would be impressed. Or what about the 36-year-old single woman with 7 storage units in various cities around the county. Would that excite Mr. Right? Can you imagine introducing him to each unit? The woman’s parents guilted her into hanging on to all the deceased relative’s things because she might need or want it one day and she made all the monthly payments.

Their stuff is their stuff and they need to learn how to sort through what they want, will use and feel they need in their home (even if an apartment). They may really want to hold on to something and determine if it is worth storing in a unit they pay for and are responsible for; that is what successful adults do. They are responsible for their stuff up until their own last breath. They can decide when to let go of it and bless others that may need what they no longer need or use so resist storing their stuff for years or decades.

Like most of us, we tend to move a few times in our lives and there are things to do to help prepare for it and that is especially true with elder parents. Teresa Barthol’s article may be of help to you working through those challenging conversations at https://www.favelifestyles.com/conversations-with-parents

As a professional organizer since 2000 who describes herself as a Life Navigator, I’ve seen many no longer used or needed items in 80-year-old adults’ basements and garages that belonged to their own grown children along with things they kept themselves since their own early teen years. We all need to grow up and be honest about where we are and in which quarter we now experiencing life. Certainly, into our sixties we need to be paying close attention to our accumulation of stuff. Personally, I want to be a blessing to my grown children and not burden them with a lot of stuff to wade through and determine where or to whom items should go. I know one family that was able to remove all their elder mother’s things the day following her death since editing what was needed and used continued to the last days of her life.

Elisa (Lisa) Hawkinson

Elisa (Lisa) Hawkinson

Elisa Hawkinson
Professional Organizer | Author Calming Your Chaos | Leader of the Smooth Organizer Community
www.elisahawkinson.com

about

Elisa (Lisa) Hawkinson

 

 

Since 2000 Elisa (Lisa) Hawkinson, author of Calming Your Chaos, has been teaching and training businesses and individuals to support anyone who is not naturally organized on a consistent basis to be just that. Her HOW2GetOrganized seminars, workshops, and speaking along with hands-on coaching and coaching by phone has evolved from her natural genetic bent for order. Efficiency, calm, productivity and profitability are increased with the help of HOW2 and Elisa.

 

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Who decided it should be called the Empty nest?

Who decided it should be called the Empty nest?

Who decided it should be called the Empty nest?

The EMPTY NEST…it sounds so…empty and sad!

The name itself suggests that this stage of life is missing something. A nest is supposed to be filled with eggs and the young and we are supposed to be feeding and caring for those young. Once the nest is empty then it is not fulfilling its purpose. WOW, what do we set ourselves up for with this name???

Of course, there are feelings of sadness and loss and grief with the ending of the child-rearing years. And there should be! Things that are important to us bring sadness when they end. The child-rearing years are wonderful, hard, challenging, incredibly busy, ever-changing and they lead us to grow in ways we never would have on our own. When those years come to an end they deserve our grief. But that feeling of emptiness need not define the next stage.

I feel that this next stage in life invites us to many exciting opportunities. We have maturity and experience. We have had enough experience to know what we like and hopefully, we have the maturity to know ourselves, both our strengths and our weaknesses. We also have the freedom to discern what our heart is telling us to fill it up with. Rather than spending our time focused on feeding and caring for our young which is wonderful and amazing, we can broaden our focus towards taking all of the gifts that we were born with and have developed as Mothers and use them in ways that serve our neighborhoods, communities, society, our world. We can make a difference. I see nothing in living a life focused on living with purpose and meaning and values that say “empty nest”.

Clearly, we need a new name for this exciting time in life. Teresa Barthol https://www.facebook.com/teresa.barthol calls this time in life The Third Quarter. I like this because it speaks to the Arc of Life and reminds us that just because we are post-kids, post-menopausal, post-anything doesn’t mean that we are post-living. We have so much life to live, and so many gifts and skills and knowledge and wisdom to share.

I think my choice for this time in life is the Full Heart stage. My heart is full with my husband, my family, and friends, and answering the Call of my Heart in my work. It is full of joy and creativity and play. Yup, I am sticking with calling this time The Full Heart stage!

Karen Herold

Karen Herold

Transition Life Coach | Energy Psychologist | Creative Arts Facilitator
www.wisetransition.com

about

 

Karen Herold

 

 

After 30 plus in the business world Karen Herold considers herself a recovering CPA, finance and executive management business leader. She left her business career to pursue a master’s in transpersonal psychology followed soon thereafter by certification as a psychosynthesis life coach. She brings her wisdom and knowledge as a yoga teacher, creative expression arts facilitator, energy psychologist and a life transition coach to each coaching session. Karen is also a member of the faculty at Sofia University. Karen empowers and encourages her clients to embrace Transition as an Invitation to envision, create and manifest their next stage in life as one that is filled with Purpose, Meaning and Value. Karen is a contributing author to The Call of Self: Psychosynthesis Life Coaching, which is a journey to understanding transpersonally oriented life coaching where she shares her experience of the intersection of life coaching and volleyball coaching.

Karen is the mother of three adult daughters…all of whom she coached in club volleyball at one time or another. She is also grandmother to four young grandchildren and is recently married to her loving husband Chris.

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10 Ways to Conquer Fear

10 Ways to Conquer Fear

10 Ways to Conquer Fear

Fear talks to people. And when they listen, this is what can happen:

Sheila loved to dance but she wouldn’t go out on the dance floor with her fiancé because she thought she’d look clumsy and ridiculous.

Arnie knew he deserved a raise, but he was so nervous about approaching his boss, he never asked for one.

Delilia’s fear of bears was so great that she wouldn’t go on a camping trip with her friends. And their campsite wasn’t even in bear territory.

Fear is that voice inside our heads that says, you can’t, you shouldn’t, what if…. Fear keeps us from taking risks that might enrich our life or holds us back from doing some things we need to do. Experience new and exciting vistas? Accomplish something really great? Fear says, “Not on your life.”

This isn’t to say that fear is all bad. At its best it’s an instinctive, natural ability to help us survive. Without fear we might attempt to stroll across freeways or scratch behind a lion’s ears. But given the upper hand, fear can dominate our life and make even the innocuous—taking a walk or answering the phone—a daunting experience.

Ninety-nine percent of what we worry about never happens, according to Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. “There’s a voice inside our heads that’s always heralding doom and disaster even before we get started on something,” she says.

On its own, fear won’t disappear. Following are some strategies to help you deal with fears that might be holding you back from something you want or need to do.

  • Get information. In an information void, fear clicks in to do what it thinks is its job. But when you find out about what scares you, you replace fear with knowledge.
  • Learn how to do it. If there’s something you’d like to do, but you’re afraid to try, take lessons. We’re not born knowing how to ride horses or make pottery.
  • Find models. Let someone who’s not afraid model courage for you. Just as fearful behavior breeds the jitters, courageous behavior invites confidence.
  • Talk about your fears. Keeping your fears bottled up inside magnifies them. Taking them out into the light can shrink them. Find a good listener who won’t pooh-pooh your fears or make judgments.
  • Talk to yourself. Self-talk filled with positive messages can change fear energy into positive energy. Eliminate the cant’s, shouldnt’s and ought-to’s from your self-talk vocabulary.
  • Use your imagination. Before you arrive at the party, imagine the other guests are as frightened as you are. Or see your audience as people who really want the information you have. Visualize yourself doing what you are afraid to do; see yourself as graceful, strong and capable.
  • Focus on the little things. Keep your mind on the details, not the Big Picture. Complete the report word by word, pay the bills one by one, see the group individual by individual.
  • Expand your comfort zone. Take a small risk each day. Make one phone call, ask for one thing you want, go to one new place. Little by little your confidence will expand, too.
  • Relax and breathe. Sometimes the physical response to fear creates even more fear. Physically relax your body and breathe in and out to release tension.
  • Ask for help. If your fears are pervasive or severe, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder, in which case you should definitely seek help. If your fears are not debilitating, but still get in the way of doing what you need or want to do, asking for help can make all the difference.

     

It’s not that we totally eliminate fear from our lives yet learning to work with it and find strategies that help us learn to respond differently to it can bring some ease back into our lives.

Brenda Reiss

Brenda Reiss

Forgivness Coach
brendareisscoaching.com

about

Brenda Reiss

The author of “Forgive Yourself”, Brenda Reiss truly walks her talk. She discovered the power of self-forgiveness when a series of life events put her in a very dark place. Failed marriages, abuse, and severe health issues were just a few of the challenges she faced.

Determined to rewrite her story, Brenda sought answers – and found them in the concept of “radical forgiveness”.

What she learned changed her life forever.

Brenda is highly skilled at helping people find peace in their personal and professional lives. Coupling teachable techniques with forgiveness theory, this certified Radical Forgiveness© Master coach creates an environment which allows clients to release anger, shame, and guilt. The result? An opportunity to live with joy in the present and the future.

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What is REALLY Stopping You

What is REALLY Stopping You

What is REALLY Stopping You

Does this sound familiar? You noticed that you are applying all the knowledge you so painstakingly learned in order to accomplish something important to you and it isn’t working the way you thought it would?  I have experience this many times. What I have discovered is most times the reason I’m not moving forward in the way that I would like has nothing to do with my proficiency at implementing actions or knowledge in the area that I want to move forward in. And that trying harder doesn’t work. I’ll share a story to illustrate this.  

Hidden Blocks

A very successful client of mine was feeling frustrated. She was helping others to heal their lives and become financially successful, however she was frustrated that her own financial success was eluding her.  As we worked together we discovered that at one point as a young mother many years earlier she had decided to stay home with her young children and let go of her high paying career. She was adamant that money would not be a distraction from being a good mom. When she realized that it was her own decision keeping her from welcoming financial abundance in her life now that her children were grown.  It became apparent that all she had to do was make a new decision to welcome finances into her life again. Since making that decision her organization has grown in leaps and bounds since that very important – aha.

Another client had been trying to reach her goal of a firm, and youthful body, however every time she began her workouts she would pull a muscle a few weeks or months later.  This made it impossible to continue her routine. This pattern happened for years and it was very frustrating because she loved the way exercising made her feel emotionally as well.  After working with her we discovered that as a very sensitive and caring child she allowed herself to shine less brightly around her sister who struggled with confidence. There were several levels to her history; she was also afraid that her sister might reject her and exclude her from her social circle which happened many times. This was very emotionally painful for her. She just wanted to be accepted and loved and wanted others to feel good too.  When she understood her fears something inside her clicked. She was able to see that this wasn’t serving her anymore. She had a great relationship with her sister these many years later. The fear of hurting others by being her best self was released and she no longer suffered from injuries during her workouts.

Our subconscious is very strong and depending on our understanding of a situation will try to protect us.  Our subconscious mind is where hidden blocks are stored.

But how do you know when something hidden is holding you back and how to change it? Just pay attention to how you feel. If you are experiencing; frustration, anger, heaviness, lack of energy, anxiety that doesn’t make sense these are all sure signs of a hidden block. 

Relaxing and Revealing

When I work with clients there are several powerful methods I use to find their personal hidden blocks. In this article though, I can share that the best way to move past a block and get into inspired solutions and actions is rather simple….relax about it.  I know it sounds too simple however let me explain. 

All of those emotions I mentioned in the previous section are different expressions of fear.  When your mind body and water connection experiences fear it constricts the processes of your body and brain (read more in my article The Secret to Having More Energy). Simply put we are literally “dumber” when we are experiencing stressful emotions such as anger, frustration, shame, embarrassment, fear, and guilt etc.  All of these emotions become our “reactions” to situations.

If we choose to “relax” about the situations we find ourselves our brain gets into a supportive flow. The result is we get new ideas, solutions, and clarity.  Note: The following exercise is not about changing the situation it is about changing how you FEEL about the situation. This is the secret to accessing meaningful solutions.

Stress Isn’t The Real Problem

Stress isn’t the problem in our lives, not knowing how to relieve stress and access relaxation is the real problem. Here is a powerful exercise for you to access a relaxed response to your situation.

Exhaling Exercise – Create a moment of reflection where you are not distracted. 

  1. Breath in deeply 3 times – this creates a relaxation response in the body.
  2. Think of the situation that is bothering you, assess how you feel about it.  Rate it on a scale of 1-10. Write it down.
  3. Breathe in deeply and then exhale until you cannot exhale anymore while thinking of the issue that is bothering you. It is important to have the intent of “exhaling” any aspects of the situation that are not healthy for your mind and body of water.  You can close your eyes if you wish.

Reassess the level of intensity of how you feel. Do this until you feel lighter about the issue.  Most importantly when you are feeling lighter take time to answer the following questions and write down your answer to solidify it in your mind.

“What is the new lighter perspective on this issue?”

“What is the next logical step I can take to move forward comfortably in this situation?” Write it down and take the step.

Some clients have different new ideas that come up that they hadn’t thought of before or had already considered however hadn’t acted on it yet.  Suddenly the idea of acting on it makes logical sense and feels very doable.

Most clients realize that there isn’t a step they have to take because, without realizing it, they had been taking on someone else’s issue which they now realize isn’t their responsibility to figure out.  Their action step is – to let go.

Good health to you as you relax your way to success on your unique journey. Blessings.

Diana E. Ruiz

Diana E. Ruiz

Grief Recovery Method® Specialist
www.DianaERuiz.com

about

Diana E. Ruiz, M.A.

Diana E. Ruiz MA helps women entrepreneurs resolve deep losses in life and relationships through practical steps so they can feel good in their skin again and experience their true brilliance in life and business. “The work Diana does is personally freeing and liberating…the added bonus? I am on fire in my business!” Rae Anne Hall – CEO Forward Principles – Diana is an Author, Grief Recovery Method Specialist®, Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner

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