How To Create New Relationships With Your Adult Children

How To Create New Relationships With Your Adult Children

Setting Goals For 2020

According to the AARP, divorce rates have nearly doubled since the 1990s. This means that
more women are finding themselves in different roles in mid-life. Additionally, this can change
the dynamics of their relationships with their adult children as often it feels like there are ‘sides’
and everyone has to choose one.

Even if you’re not widowed or divorced, you may find that the relationships you have with your
adult children are not as fulfilling as you hoped they might be. Creating new relationships with
your adult children takes work, and we’ve got a few tips on how to parent grown children and
rejuvenate those family
bonds.

Tips to Establish a Better Relationship Between Normal Parent and Adult Child:

They’re Not Kids Anymore

It’s often said that getting older is not for sissies! Truer words have never been spoken. As we get
older, we may find it difficult to view our adult children as adults. We still see them as the
adorable little girls and boys with milk mustaches and silly Halloween costumes. While the years
may pass quickly, letting go gets harder and harder.

Whether you find you need to create new relationships with your adult children because of the
death of/divorce from your partner, or you simply need to get used to the idea that they’re not
kids anymore, it takes work. The most important thing you can do is recognize this and then
move into action to create new relationships with your children.

Divorce and Death Add New Dimensions

When you and your partner divorce, or your partner dies, the relationship with your adult
children changes. You might experience anger from your adult children, as they’re not sure why
the divorce happened. Or, they may be angry if they find out you just stayed in the marriage ‘for
their sake,’ because they’ll feel like so much of their life wasn’t what they thought it was.

Or, if you’re in a different dynamic with your children because your spouse or partner has died,
you may find that they immediately want to take the reigns and begin ‘parenting’ you. This can
be endearing at first, but frustrating as you’re still capable of taking care of yourself.

In these cases, the most important thing you can do while parenting your adult children is communicate
with then. Let them know that you understand their feelings, and you want to validate them. Let them
know that you won’t speak badly about their other parent, nor will you lean too heavily on them in
the event of the death of their other parent, as you know they’re grieving too. Communication is key when
establishing new relationships with your adult children.

Grow Together!

While divorce and death do uniquely affect your relationships with your adult children, simply
the nature of their growing up and becoming adults makes it imperative you create new
relationships with them.

You have to learn to let go of wanting to parent each step they take, and you have to learn to hold
back when they’re finding their footing in this world they’re navigating. Even if you’re not
divorced, or your partner hasn’t died, your relationships with your children will change because
you are all adults doing adult things. Remember that now, as the mother to adult children, your
advice is just that—advice. They’re no longer expected to take it simply because you say so, and
so a little trusting encouragement goes a long way.

Recognize that instead of losing the little ones they were, you’ve now been given these amazing
adults to bond with and grow with. Embrace the new relationships by allowing them to grow
organically. Life changes whether are ready or not and creating new relationships with our adult
children is one of the privileges that comes with change. Embrace them and bloom with them;
who better to do so with than the amazing children you raised?

Also Read : How to Get Your Kids Computer Ready for Online School

Setting Goals For 2020
Karen Rae

Karen Rae

Owner, Fave Lifestyles
www.FaveLifestyles.com

about

Karen Rae

I was becoming an empty nester, a woman of a more interesting age and in transition. Sound familiar? I was at that place where we question our purpose, value, and worth and what in the world are we going to do with the rest of our lives.

I noticed women have a huge hunger to belong to a community of women where they can feel safe, share openly from their heart and have other women to do life with! This is why I created my Fave Lifestyles.

Fave is for the woman who wants to call Fave her community of women who support, uplift, and make her feel better about herself. I want to create a place where we help her answer life's questions and just do life together!

Let's Do Life Together at Fave Lifestyles

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How Does Laughter Help in Downsizing

How Does Laughter Help in Downsizing

How Does Laughter Help in Downsizing

Is it possible that laughter helps when downsizing? My own personal experience tells me yes,
at times, but when I’m not grieving the loss of a loved one. I’ve been on that side of downsizing.
The other side of life when it’s time to edit the contents of my home and or in helping others,
laughter has played an important part

You might have heard lots of health benefits of laughter but here’s a small memory that reveals
the benefits of laughter in downsizing. It’s a silly memory from long ago of a garage sale with a
friend sitting beside me makes me a smile right now. She saw a pair of culottes (think long shorts
in the 70’s hitting below the knee) on the table for sale. She laughed at me for having held on to
them for over ten years, long after anyone was wearing them. They were in great condition, had
cost plenty and the fabric was a lovely wool. I don’t think at that point in my life, and twenty years
into my marriage that I had ever consciously downsized or decluttered. I just hung on to stuff until
it was useless. I was still in the accumulating phase of life.

After getting over my embarrassment with my friend I laughed too. I quickly evaluated why I
still had those culottes. I realized I had not put boundaries around what I would keep or for
how long and, since I once loved them, I thought I should keep them until the pregnancy weight
was off. Being on a budget was also a factor. I grew up hearing the motto, ‘Good clothes must
be worn until they were worn out. After the laugh, reality set in and I could not wait for
someone to buy them. No one did but I did donate them since someone somewhere might
need them.

Although there are dozens of laughter benefits related to health, that laugh was refreshing and
urged me to keep sorting through my home to edit down what was no longer needed or used.
There were plenty and things in every household category that showed up that could be donated
that were not used or needed. I reflecting on how laughter is
so good for our health
, and decided to look for what else I could laugh at for keeping so long.

There have been countless times that a client and I laughed at something found deep within a
cabinet that had not been used for over a decade. One of the best laughs came from finding
parts of a blender in four different places in the kitchen. We howled imaging the scavenger
hunt that would have happened should a smoothie for the children been on the ‘need now’
agenda. But it is the older appliances pushed far to the backside of a deep cabinet that has
brought the most giggles and shock at the find of forgotten items not-used-in-years category.

Research shows how clutter causes us stress.

Clutter causes stress anxiety. Many of us may not have realized how
healthy it is to have our homes and offices better organized. That alone may be incentive
enough to decide to do something about the accumulated amount of stuff covering our kitchen
countertops and furniture. If support is helpful to tackle the project, there is no shame in
asking for that. A friend or relative might be able to help or a professional might be better for
you. You will know best. Decide what would work best for you to have a plan to move
throughout the home or a room to put it in order. It helps to have everyone living in the home
be part of the solution to keep things in better order.

Being perfect is not the solution. We all have lapses and real-life conflicts to that conflict with
order. Relax, enjoy life and know you can get right back to having things better organized as
soon as you are rested and have the energy to put things back where they belong. Looking at
life like it is a mobile that moves with the breezes helps us see that our lives are not stationary,
nor can they be absolutely organized all the time. After an event breezes through your life,
things settle back down, and you can put things back in order.

One thing that I like to stress is a purpose and place for every item. If an item is kept that is
because it is needed, and it has a purpose. Placing that item back in the same location each
time makes retrieving it simpler, rather than a hunt and search mission that wastes your time. If
for some reason you cannot find an item quickly, relax and look later but rethink if where it
was placed made good sense. Finding a new place may be required if you searched too much
or too long.

We each need to be mindful of our health and that includes our mental health. Now we realize
how that accumulated clutter causes us stress and there is a solution to get rid of that stress.
Put on an attitude of being ready to laugh and set your intention to have less stuff and have
more order. Be sure to laugh your way through the process and celebrate along the way or
certainly by the end with something that brings you joy.

Elisa (Lisa) Hawkinson

Elisa (Lisa) Hawkinson

Elisa Hawkinson
Professional Organizer | Author Calming Your Chaos | Leader of the Smooth Organizer Community
www.elisahawkinson.com

about

Elisa (Lisa) Hawkinson

 

 

Since 2000 Elisa (Lisa) Hawkinson, author of Calming Your Chaos, has been teaching and training businesses and individuals to support anyone who is not naturally organized on a consistent basis to be just that. Her HOW2GetOrganized seminars, workshops, and speaking along with hands-on coaching and coaching by phone has evolved from her natural genetic bent for order. Efficiency, calm, productivity and profitability are increased with the help of HOW2 and Elisa.

 

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My Fave Chair to Yours

My Fave Chair to Yours

My Fave Chair to Yours

Do you have a Rocking Chair in your home?

The rocking chair can be found in many places today, airports, in front of restaurants for the
waiting patrons, in hospitals, nurseries, and maybe in your living room.

I’ve seen some fabulous craftmanship in rocking chairs sold in Bellingham, WA and in LA
Connor, WA in past years. I would have loved one of those beauties. REI Seattle, WA
www.rei.com/c/rocking-chairs even has outdoor camping rocking chairs. I bet you could
name a few more types and places for the sighting of rockers.

My thinking of the rocking chair is that it is meant for relaxing. The movement of rocking is
calming for babies as well as adults. Soothing to the nerves and provides that relaxation that
often leads to sleep.

Two rocking chairs I have had in our home. First one came from my mother-in-law. One that she
had held many children in. I acquired it at the birth of our first son. It was placed in his nursery.
Many nights I tested out the promise of sleep for my little guy in that chair. It didn’t work, I have
to tell you. He was always up at night until he was about 3 or 4. A restless one he was. I held
onto the dream & moved it to the living room when our two boys were older, and we would read
books from that chair. Do you have some of those cuddly moments to retrieve from your
memory? Favorite times, right?

The second chair came from one of my clients. She was a Senior client, and I spent many hours
chatting with her from her rocking chair. One that she has had since 1930. It looks like more of
an antique. Her chair was a favorite when I visited her & I would remark about how comfortable
it was. Well-worn down to the raw wood, many spots were absent of the original wood stain.
When she moved, the chair was sold to me! Many of my clients have to downsize in an Estate
Sale so that I can prepare the home to Sell. I fell in love with the chair & my experience with this
very independent woman. She had custom built her home & it was not easy for her to leave it
but after time the two of us found a solution for her.

While working on the Sale of her home as her Realtor, the news of having a grandson was
announced. The first grandson! Exciting time. I thought a rocking chair would be needed for
the room I was expecting that little guy to spend some time in. As with many ideas we create &
plan for, this one did not work out as I had envisioned.

No problems of any kind but, there was no need for rocking grandbabies in the chair.  Good
news out of this story is that my training as a Senior Real Estate Specialist was of help in
working with this lady in her late 80’s. I find that many times a rocky chair is helpful in staying
calm & helping Senior clients make transitions with the Real Estate they own. Give me a call if
you have Parents in their Senior years or if you are in the frame of mind to downsize or get into
a different living situation. I can help. lifestylestolive.com.

Today, that rocky chair is home to “You are the Sunshine of my Life” Pillow. Remember the
song “You Are the Sunshine of My Life” 1973 single released by Stevie Wonder. The song
became Wonder’s third number-one single on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and his first number-
one on the Easy Listening chart. It won Wonder a Grammy Award for Best Male Pop Vocal
Performance and was nominated for both Record of the Year and Song of the Year.
In front of the pillow, we have a chair full of cuddliest (stuffed animals) A few Beanie Babies
from my collections. I have inherited about a hundred of them. Check it out, do you have a
valuable one.  The 10 most valuable beanie babies

It was a crazy fad launched in 1993. I remember my mother was into them. Now, the rocking
chair is home for the collection and their friends.

I’m blessed to have the rocking chair and the grandsons while singing, “You are my Sunshine.”

Plans that do not work out, sometimes turn out better than the original.

My client is still in touch with me a now in a Retirement community where she enjoys what I call
the 4 th quarter lifestyle. She has been an inspiration!

Cheers!

Teresa Barthol

Teresa Barthol

Realtor - Managing Broker
LifestylestoLive.com
425-876-9552

about

 

Teresa Barthol

 

Teresa Barthol -Managing Broker with eXp Realty Seattle.  Brings 22 plus years’ experience to consult with clients about real estate in the 3rd and 4th quarters of their lives. .  With longevity in Real Estate Teresa loves to share her optimistic problem solving skills, creative out of the box thinking along with her enthusiasm for great outcomes. “Believe,” she will say, your desires in life will be realized. Teresa focuses on Lifestyles to Live within the four walls you call home.

With Guest Authors: 
Marcelle Allen from Dreamosity
Elisa Hawkinson - How2GetOrganized!
Karen Herold - Wise Transition

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It’s Time to Love Yourself

It’s Time to Love Yourself

Self-Quiz: Are You “Too Busy”?

Do you feel at home wherever you are?  In your actual home and your body since your
body is home for all the parts of you?

When we feel at home, we feel peace, security, safety and belonging.

These foundations not only help us to feel more secure in our physical home, but they also
help us to feel more secure in our own skin. This provides a way that we can feel comfortable
no matter what is happening in the world around us.

Home is meant to be love.

If you aren’t feeling at home, maybe it’s time for an inventory.  We can get really good at
taking other people’s inventories (big smile here) and not so good at taking our own.  Yet,
when we get honest with ourselves, it provides the answers that we keep seeking outside
of ourselves.

Grab a pen and paper, set yourself up in a quiet space with some soft music which helps to
distract your head; take a few breaths focusing on your heart and then ask yourself one of
these questions:

  • What am I hiding from?
  • Am I afraid of being myself?
  • Do I feel that I don’t belong?
  • What if I did choose another path in business or relationships? What would that entail?
    What feelings come up?

A great question to ponder is:

  • What is my understanding or definition of what home is?  Maybe it’s an unsafe place
    or didn’t provide stability or loving feelings.  And then maybe it did but we have lost that along
    the way.

Trust what you feel or hear.  That’s one of the biggest steps.

It’s time to come home to you.  It’s time to love yourself and create a new sense of safety,
security and belonging within.

We have all chosen experiences in our lives for a reason which allows us to revisit some
situations that may have taken us back to our original pain.

When we look at these experiences through the lens of choice and healing, it can give
us a different perspective about ourselves.  That we are strong and capable and courageous.
And most of all, worthy of loving ourselves just for that reason.

So now we can say NO to the suffering of the past; say NO to our inner critic; and NO
to those people and situations that want to dim our light.

We get to choose a new home.  A place where it excites us to be.  Maybe it’s a little weird
at first and uncomfortable as we set boundaries and figure out what it is that lights us up.
That’s okay.  As long as, we are willing to stick with the forward motion for ourselves.
Embodying the beautiful being that we are becoming and want to hang around with.

Brenda Reiss

Brenda Reiss

Forgivness Coach
brendareisscoaching.com

about

Brenda Reiss

The author of “Forgive Yourself”, Brenda Reiss truly walks her talk. She discovered the power of self-forgiveness when a series of life events put her in a very dark place. Failed marriages, abuse, and severe health issues were just a few of the challenges she faced.

Determined to rewrite her story, Brenda sought answers – and found them in the concept of “radical forgiveness”.

What she learned changed her life forever.

Brenda is highly skilled at helping people find peace in their personal and professional lives. Coupling teachable techniques with forgiveness theory, this certified Radical Forgiveness© Master coach creates an environment which allows clients to release anger, shame, and guilt. The result? An opportunity to live with joy in the present and the future.

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Is Hypnosis Good For You?

Is Hypnosis Good For You?

Is Hypnosis Good For You?

Hypnosis is Good For You!
The main reason hypnosis is good for you is the experience of hypnotherapy addresses issues at the
subconscious, unconscious and superconscious levels of the mind where 99% of our beliefs and
behaviors are stored. If we continue to overreact to our thoughts and circumstances which affect our
actions, we can feel out of control and miserable. Instead through hypnosis, we can address the Story
we tell ourselves, choose how to respond and create lasting change.

You Create Your Own Mantras
In hypnotherapy, you create personal statements of truth that reveal your highest values. You begin
to understand and learn from your emotions, beliefs, and behaviors and can release any related
feelings from your body! And as you change the Story you tell yourself, your perspective changes for
the better, and every area of your life improves!

You Become Your Own Hero!
Clients create their own lasting change because the change happens at cellular and spiritual levels
within their bodies. When you change what you think, feel, and imagine, a new Story becomes true
for you! Your reactions and behavior change at the inner mind level, as you let go of your old stories.

From Frustration to Celebration
In a session with me, a client said she throws up her hands in frustration and exasperation with the
amount of work she has to do on a daily basis. By the end of the session, she created a better Story
and saw now that when she throws up her hands, it is to celebrate all the work she accomplishes
daily. She moved from the stress reaction of frustration to a happy celebration of fulfilling her
purposeful work! She created a better Story. She became her own Hero!

Surfing Our Brainwaves
Understanding our brainwave levels helps us understand hypnosis. The following succession of
brainwaves brings us to a deeper level of consciousness: gamma; beta; alpha; theta; and delta.
Gamma brainwaves happen when we are awake and most alert of our surroundings. We are in fight,
flight, or freeze mode in the gamma state. Beta brainwaves are when we are awake and using our
five senses to inform our conscious mind. We activate alpha brainwaves any time we are in a relaxed
state. In the alpha state, we receive insight and can sometimes lose track of time. Theta brainwaves
happen when we are in a meditative state like prayer or deep contemplation. We are in a light sleep
state in theta. And delta brainwaves happen when we are in deep, dreamless sleep.

Surfing our brainwaves from high alert to deep sleep is a natural function of the rhythm of life.
Hypnosis happens any time, day or night when we are at the alpha and theta brainwave cycles.
Hypnosis is natural.

What is Hypnosis?
Hypnosis can be understood as thinking, imagining and feeling what is going on inside your mind and
body to obtain a change of consciousness and behavior. Anytime you close your eyes to think (or
pray, for that matter) you disengage your conscious mind. When you disengage your conscious mind,
you are automatically using your inner mind – your subconscious, unconscious and superconscious
mind. Also, anytime you are so focused on your thoughts or a conversation or a movie and you do
things ‘automatically,’ you are in a state of hypnosis. Have you ever driven somewhere ‘automatically’
because you were thinking about something else? Or have you imagined your favorite dessert and
your mouth started watering? Have you been so focused on a movie, you were not thinking about
your surroundings? In each of these situations, you are in a natural state of hypnosis. It happens
every day.

What is the difference between Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy?
Although the terms hypnosis and hypnotherapy are used interchangeably, there are differences.
Hypnosis is a broad term under which many modalities are used like stage hypnosis, medical
hypnosis and self-hypnosis. Hypnotherapy is guided by a certified hypnotherapist who uses
conversational structures to guide clients and is less scripted and more organic. The hypnotherapist
follows the client.

In hypnotherapy, the client is in a relaxed and meditative state. The client is in control and can say or
not say anything they choose. The client’s eyes usually are closed to better focus on the Story his or
her inner mind is revealing. The conversation with the practitioner relates to the client’s past, present
or future experiences.

What is the Difference Between Guided Meditation and Hypnotherapy?
In guided meditation, the practitioner is guiding the content of the meditation and the client is making
sense of the script to elicit change. In hypnotherapy, the client is in control of the conversation, and
thus, the process of transformation and the practitioner provides skilled guidance. One-on-one
hypnotherapy is more effective than guided meditation because we are working from the framework
of the client’s Story.

Are You Curious About What Your Inner Mind Wants to Show You? Are You Ready to
Transform Your Story? Let Dani be your Guide to help you transform your Story! Experience The
Emotion Code, which is an energy healing technique that helps get rid of emotional baggage from
your past and past generations. Experience RIM, which helps you discover your Higher Truth.
Experience PSYCH-K to reprogram your subconscious and unconscious mind to achieve your goals.
Book a FREE Breakthrough phone call and find out about The Soul Power Experience! Go to
danigreen.today.

 Dani Green

Dani Green

Dani Green
The Soul Power Experience Creator
www.danigreen.today | hello@danigreen.today
425-359-4906

About

Dani Green

Dani Green is the Creator of The Soul Power Experience using motivational speaking, education and hypnotherapy. Dani also helps clients reduce stress, smoking cessation and weight release. As an Ordained Minister, Dani writes and officiates Weddings and Funerals. Dani and her husband, Kevin have three adult children and have hosted 15 international students.

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