In the 1960s Until Now
According to Google, in the 1960s, 22% of children in America grew up in poverty, and I was one of them. My mom did the best she could to provide for us as a bipolar alcoholic single mom with four children. To my mom’s credit, she always had a job. We just didn’t talk to her because she was stressed and reactive. I grew up afraid. The school was my safe place. I hoped I could think my way out of any situation. I found Jesus as an 8-year old and so I found a friend who is always with me. I found my Soul at age 50, and that is when I began to feel ‘okay’ on the inside. (Watch My Soul Power Journey.) The reason feeling okay on the inside (mentally, physically, and spiritually) is important is we are less reactive and more loving and peaceful. Even more important is that when we do not feel okay, we can own how we feel and pray and look for answers.
Taking 100% Responsibility
The first chapter of the Jack Canfield book, The Success Principles, tells us to take 100% responsibility for our emotions and reactions. No more blaming or excuses. No one can make us feel anything. When we own and learn from our inner dialogue and outer actions, we are led to the importance of becoming more forgiving and experiencing less projection.
What is Projection?
Projection is taking your internalized thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions and seeing them in others. Projection is what we do with our difficult unresolved emotions. Simply put, projection is not owning who we are. Instead, we blame others for what we do not like in ourselves. Understanding projection is an essential tool in cutting through the illusion of the story we tell ourselves.
Inner Projection as Our Shadow
Our inner projection or Shadow is projecting what we are trying to hide about ourselves. Our Shadow is whatever we tell ourselves we do not want to be. As we grow up and create our life, we focus on what works for us. We depend on the strong and positive aspects of ourselves to survive and, on a good day, thrive. Often these positive qualities have an opposite quality, which we ignore and hide because of shame and guilt. We deny the things we don’t like and spend our life keeping these things hidden. Imagine carrying a ball around for a day with the goal of not letting anyone see it. Imagine how much energy it takes each day to hide the things we do not like about ourselves or others. Actually, we cannot hide anything because who we are spills into our life one way or another.
When we deny our Shadow, it can spill into our life from the subconscious and unconscious mind in our thoughts and reactions! I have often thought, what do we do when Just Do It doesn’t work? We all do things we don’t want to do. What is driving us? Ninety-five percent of our behaviors and beliefs stem from subconscious and unconscious programming, which is inherited generationally or from events in this lifetime.
Make a List of Image Words and Find the Gift of Your Shadow
Make a list of words that reflect your successful self and are beneficial to your life. These characteristics help us to be productive and kind humans. A few of my Image Words are attractive, brave, confident, and determined.
To find the Gift of Your Shadow, use Google microphone to see the opposite characteristic, and ask ’Antonym for ___?’ For example, say ‘antonym for attractive,’ which is unattractive, the Shadow of attractive. For me, I used to only feel good about myself when I was dressed up in matching clothes, with my makeup on and hair styled. Accepting me when I am unattractive (or when I don’t get ready) frees me to feel good about myself all the time!
You can use the following formula to work through your Image and Shadow Words: ‘I am _______ (positive) which also means I am ______ (negative).
The point is to accept the Image and Shadow words as part of who you are and let go of the attachment to either. We do not need to cling to our Image words, nor do we need to hide from our Shadow words. We own all of who we are, let go and move on. We continue to Evolve toward Love of ourselves and others. Journal through the following exercise to learn the Gift of Your Shadow.
The Gift of Your Shadow
1. What do you love about yourself?
2. What is the opposite of that?
3. In what ways does this opposite serve you?
4. Honor and accept both of these characteristics of your personality. Find the Gift in each.
5. Continue to love what you love about yourself. And learn to love what you hide.
Based on The Dark Side of The Light Chasers by Debbie Ford. (thefordinstitute.com).
For example, I am open-minded. The opposite is I am close-minded. The gift of being close-minded is I am more discerning and less gullible. I am loving. The opposite is I am not loving. The gift in being not loving is I am bothered when I am not loving, which makes me look inside to see what is going on with me. And when I am bothered by being not loving, it proves how much I value being loving! I am strong. The opposite is I am weak. The gift of being weak is to acknowledge when I feel weak and rest or ask for help. I am spiritual. The opposite is I am not spiritual. The gift of being not spiritual reminds me to get my head ‘out of the clouds’ and be practical and do everyday things like dust and sweep and laundry!
“I Am That”
I am that is another tool of acceptance. When we look at others and observe the traits we do not like, and rather than judging; we can say, “I am that.” We are capable of what others do and say and visa-versa. We are all One. We share the One Story of humanity, past, present, and future. We are capable of doing and being the same as anyone else, so we no longer need to hide from or judge ourselves or each other.
We have expectations of ourselves and others. When we or they do not meet our expectations, we experience pain. We judge others as willing when we should see them as capable. We make observations all the time, and it is okay to do so. As soon as these observations become painful or hurtful, we know our observations have turned into judgments from which we are projecting our pain.
What is the story you tell yourself? Is it true? We are to question anything that comes to mind that opposes peace. Feelings are a gift. Our feelings reveal what we believe. Our feelings show us what is inside our minds and our bodies.
We can live a life of peace and experience freedom from pain. We do not need to suffer. We naturally feel pain when we are wounded. The problem is when we rehearse the wound over and over again. Wouldn’t it be better to accept the disowned part of us and let the feeling of pain flow out and away from us?
The Perfection In What Is
We can look for what is perfect in ‘what is’? We can accept the joy and the challenge of every circumstance. We can shift our perception to see the purpose. Or at least, we can trust we will someday understand the meaning and, in the meantime, live in the freedom of Acceptance and Love for ourselves and others.
Of course, if what is happening in your life is unsafe to become aware of this reality and ask for help from a family member, friend, or professional service agency. Create boundaries and be safe. You deserve better.
It Is Just Projection
Understanding it is just a projection that helps us to not take ourselves too seriously. We can be curious about our reactions and actions. We can awaken a sense of resolve that we will figure it out, in this lifetime or the next! We are all Evolving toward Love.
Let Dani be your Guide to Experience Self-Acceptance and find your Inner Truth!
Experience The Emotion Code, which is an energy healing technique that helps get rid of emotional baggage from your past and past generations. Experience RIM, which enables you to discover your Higher Truth. Experience PSYCH-K to reprogram your subconscious and unconscious mind to achieve your goals. Book a FREE Breakthrough phone call and find out about The Soul Power Experience! Go to danigreen.today.
Namaste – the Divine in Me celebrates the Divine in You!
I Love You!