How to Practice Non-Judgment

How to Practice Non-Judgment

by | Barbara Badolati, Health and Fitness, Relationships, Your Best Self

Fave Lifestyles

If you want to be free, learn how to not be judgmental. This may seem like an unattainable state, but it is achievable. Like anything that we want to improve upon, it takes desire, a heightened state of awareness and consistent practice. If you’ve got the desire and awareness, this article outlines the three concepts to practice when you are judging yourself or others. These three concepts are; seeing the best in others, forgiving yourself and cultivating joy. I hope you will enjoy the non-judgmental quotes included as well.

Why Do We Judge?

Although I’m not a theologian or licensed psychologist, I have identified a few theories as to why we judge ourselves and each other. Perhaps, some of these will resonate with you as they do with me.

  • Growing up in an environment in which we were subject to judgment and criticism.
  • Not receiving the messages or modeling of acceptance, appreciation, love and encouragement.
  • Experiencing one or many incidents wherein our self-esteem, body image, intelligence or character was damaged, marred, ridiculed, shamed, humiliated, condemned, judged, or criticized.
  • Creating a story or perception in our own minds where we believe we are being judged.
  • Judging to compensate for our insecurities.
  • Media’s continuous influence that something is “wrong” with us, that we are flawed and need to be changed if we want to be loved and accepted.
  • Our brains attempting to make sense of something or someone that doesn’t fit our paradigm.
  • Feeling and/or believing we are all separate from one another as a species.
  • Wanting to be right.
  • Having a sense of superiority, a belief of being better than others, a false perception of control.
  • Fear.

“The difference between a flower and a weed is a judgment.” – Unknown

How to Not Judge Others

One of the first virtues demonstrated to me in my formative years was coined from Thumper, the adorable (yes, adjectives are a form of judgment) bunny animated in the 1942 Disney movie; Bambi.
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” – Thumper

There were many times I would run home from school, wailing to my mother that kids were not being nice and not saying nice things. In all of my innocence, I was doing my best to up-hold the virtue I was taught, yet others were not! I was confused, hurt and dismayed. In her wisdom laced with kindness a child could comprehend, she explained that everyone is different, whether it be the color of their eyes, or the scale of ‘nice-ness’ they expressed. She also cleverly turned my chubby fingers around and pointed them toward my heart, and said; “See the best in others, and in yourself”.

Throughout my life I’ve adhered to the notion that everyone is doing the best they can with the knowledge, understanding and awareness they have at that time. Thank you to my mom, Louise Hay, Sharon Gabriela and many other life teachers, including life experiences which have solidified this time and time again.

 

How to Practice Non-Judgment
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How to Stop Judging Yourself

It may not be pretty, but unless you are a narcissist, you probably do a fair amount of judging yourself. I had a client who wanted to turn this around. We used the following technique to change an internal habit, creating desired results. Every morning, she would place a handful of coins in the left pocket of her pants. Each time she caught herself thinking or saying anything negative or judgmental, she would place one coin into the other pocket. In the first few weeks, the empty pocket accumulating coins quickly. However, rather than instigating shame, she would silently say to herself; “I forgive myself for having that judgmental thought”. As her awareness and forgiveness increased, she reframed her judgment into kind perspectives and positive statements instead.

It’s my belief that gently forgiving ourselves when we notice we are criticizing or judging ourselves is the most powerful first step. The more practiced we become at forgiving ourselves for being judgmental, the easier it is to be loving, kind, joyful, appreciative and compassionate. Self-compassion is true self-care. This transfers to others as well.

“Compassion is the fountain of forgiveness.” – Unknown

Cultivating Gratitude and Joy

A simple and effective method for reducing judgment is to deepen gratitude. It’s impossible for the mind to think two opposing thoughts at the same time. Therefore, the more focus one is on gratitude and appreciation, the less attention is given to criticism and judgment. Like the client who replaced a judgment with ‘I’m sorry’ and a positive statement, we can course-correct by putting attention on what brings us joy or appreciation. A daily practice of acknowledging all that we are grateful for is maintenance in keeping judgment at bay. However, when you fall into the cavern of criticism, take 5 minutes, paper and pen, and write EVERYTHING down that you are grateful for. Keep listing until the timer has gone off. This practice will quickly lift you out of self-destructing, low-vibration thoughts and energy into a happier, lighter frequency, gaining a healthier perspective. If you’re so inclined to take this another step further, choose one of the items off your list. Then write down everything you love and appreciate about that one item for another 5 minutes. This 10 minute activity increases your ‘joy factor’ and most likely will spiral into many areas of your life. With consistent practice, gratitude and joy becomes automatic and a natural way of being.
“It is not joy that makes us grateful. It is gratitude that makes us joyful.” – Anonymous

Moving from Judgement to Compassion

Although there is an extreme between being judgmental and being compassionate which may appear vast and far reaching, the meditation provided below is a good place to start. This meditation reading offers the recognition that all human beings experience happiness, suffering, health, illness, love, loss, well-being and despair. These extremes vary in length, depth and breadth, a perception if you observe this in others. Likewise, if you reflect on your own life, you can soften into self-compassion.

Loving Kindness, a modified version
Breath In … Breath Out …
Bring a person to mind

With attention on this person, repeat to yourself:
“Just like me, this person is seeking some happiness for her/his/their life”.

With attention on this person, repeat to yourself:
“Just like me, this person is trying to avoid suffering in her/his/their life”.

With attention on this person, repeat to yourself:
“Just like me, this person has known sadness, loneliness and despair”.

With attention on this person, repeat to yourself:
“Just like me, this person is seeking to fulfill her/his/their needs”.

With attention on this person, repeat to yourself:
“Just like me, this person is learning about life”.

“Compassion is a state of constant giving of the self for others.” – Unknown

Barbara Badolati

Barbara Badolati

Coach | Motivational Speaker | Mentor
barbarabadolati.com
bewellretreats.com

about

Barbara Badolati

Barbara Badolati, founder of BeWell Retreats has been a key player in the evolution of wellness since 1986. Her dedication to this field has included creating corporate wellness cultures, opening several yoga studios, providing health and life coaching for individuals, and leading worldwide retreats. The foundation of her work is to empower the individual toward greater health and well-being through lifestyle, mindset, movement and meditation. You can experience all of this and more through her virtual retreats and classes at BeWellRetreats.com

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No Walls

No Walls

by | Dani Green, Your Best Self

Fave Lifestyles

I Experienced No Walls

In a hypnotherapy session in which I was the client, I experienced a place of Freedom with No Walls. The first time I had this experience, it was as though I had a hinge on the left side of my skull, and my skull opened. My brain and my mind joined with Infinite Space and Eternity. I felt and experienced ‘freedom with no walls’! I instantly became aware that this is what Universal God Source wants for humankind – that we would Love One Another with no walls.

The second time I had this experience, the same sensation was within my body. The cells of my body were working together so wonderfully like they were all One, and I felt absolutely Beautiful, which is the True Me! The same sense of Infinite Space and Eternity filled my Body! Now I understand this is True for All of Us!

All Walls Are Constructed by Humanity

In our lifetime, we are challenged to overcome many Walls.

Physical Walls are helpful because we have a place to dwell with a roof over our heads, except for those who do not have this luxury. Their walls are made of tents, plywood, and fences.

Our Cultural differences are to be celebrated, except when they create Walls of us and them. Self-expression can be seen as the beautiful colors of a kaleidoscope. Instead, we judge each other.

Political views are to be honored. Everyone is where they are politically because of the perspective of their religious group, cultural experience, and family of origin. Everything is just a story we tell ourselves. We are allowing our Political Walls to destroy America.

Humankind has created Religious Walls. We think we are in God’s favor and are going to heaven, and others are not in God’s favor and are going to hell. God Loves Us All and desires we all Love Each Other. We are here to move closer to the Completion of Love. To Love ourselves and each other and the planet, and in so doing, experiencing the Love of God. We all come from God and will return to God.

We have created borders that define Country Walls. Wars are fought, and people are killed because of these borders. Borders and the value of natural resources are stories we create, generation after generation.

The most troubling is the Racial Walls and Gender-Orientation Walls. We have all seen pictures of racially different children hugging each other. We can see a white egg and a brown egg having the same color of yolk inside. God loves us all the same. Humanity has told a story about the color of our skin and has caused grave injustice and disadvantages. Our gender and choice of a partner also cause unfair Walls. Love is Love is Love.

Spiritual Walls of separation are also stories we tell ourselves. We came from a place of Oneness. We begin every physical life depending on our parents for survival. We grow and strive for independence. In our 30’s we realize interdependence is more doable. Later in life, we fight against dependence again. In death, we return to a place of Oneness. All of this time, we have an Eternal Soul that connects us to Universal God Source, so we have been One all along. We are challenged to allow our Evolving Self to grow into Love For All. Our Oneness can be realized in each present moment, now. We are all on the same Spiritual Journey. Spiritual Walls of separation block our Freedom to Be and to Grow.

No Walls
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Please Pray for David

I will always remember the day our exchange student, Anush from Armenia, told us her younger brother, David, will be conscripted to go into the Army. Her prayer was that David would not be sent to the border between Armenia and Azerbaijan. There has been a conflict since 1991 – a disagreement over land use, natural resources, religious and ethnic groups. David was sent to this troubled area on July 25, 2019, and is still there now. His two years of service are completed in 10 months. The troops spend equal time in harm’s way at the border and in training at the base, except for David and those like him. David is kept at the war zone more than most because of his intelligence and valiant service. David is peace-loving. He does not want to kill anyone or be killed. Anush and her family and our family pray for him and all the soldiers every day. Will you pray for peace, too?

The Earth Is the Beautiful Earth

Imagine the Earth as a Giant Ball of Beauty. In its original created state (before humankind), no claim of space had been taken. Every territory and border is a story we tell ourselves. Every use of the Earth is a story. A war zone is a space on the Earth with a name that will change into something else, someday. Every border and use of the Earth will change, too. The claims we make upon the Earth show each of us one thing, our hearts.

No Walls

I am crying to have experienced No Walls and to realize the time it might take for all us to be there – to a place of Love and Freedom. We each can do our part to look over the top of all of our walls and tell ourselves a Story that will break them down, brick by brick.

​Let Dani Be Your Guide to Evolving Toward Love!

Dani is offering a free 20 minute The Emotion Code session, which helps to remove an inherited or current emotion. Activate Your Soul Power! Live Your Infinite Greatness! Be Your Own Hero! Book a FREE Breakthrough phone call and find out about The Soul Power Experience! Go to danigreen.today.

Dani Green

Dani Green

Dani Green
The Soul Power Experience Creator
www.danigreen.today | hello@danigreen.today
425-359-4906

About

Dani Green

Dani Green is the Creator of The Soul Power Experience using motivational speaking, education and hypnotherapy. Dani also helps clients reduce stress, smoking cessation and weight release. As an Ordained Minister, Dani writes and officiates Weddings and Funerals. Dani and her husband, Kevin have three adult children and have hosted 15 international students.

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Using Zoom and Staying Safe

Using Zoom and Staying Safe

by | Nicole Lux-Ritchie, Tech

Fave Lifestyles

Zoom is an easy to use video conferencing platform that has been an amazing resource for people all over the world to stay connected. It’s ease of use has allowed grandmothers to stay in touch with their grandchildren, artists to share their classes with their students and the otherwise tech-averse individuals to remain connected with the people they love.

Because of Zoom’s sudden fame they are getting hammered with rotten tomatoes. They are being accused of security issues (most online companies get accused of this when they get big enough). This is a very serious topic for those who offer software solutions, especially when the software is used in business. Zoom is taking the accusations seriously and has implemented several things to improve.

A business will require different Zoom security settings than a private individual hosting family happy hour on Zoom. This is why business meetings (pre-pandemic) are held in the office conference room and family potlucks can get away with setting up a gathering in the park (pre-pandemic).

What does this really mean for those of us who are using Zoom to meet with family and friends and not for high-level business dealings and discussions of sensitive information?

The potential “dangers” with Zoom

Zoom-bombers

These are like real-world party crashers. They show up uninvited and may say or show unwelcome things during a meeting. They may send links to malicious download files through the chat box feature. Some will record portions of the meeting they are “bombing”.

Here is what you can do to protect yourself and your people from Zoom-bombers.

As a Zoom host, you have superpowers.

  •  As a Zoom room host, you can REMOVE Zoom-boomers before they do damage even if you have not taken any security precautions.
  • Even better, as a Zoom room host, you can prevent Zoom-booming in the first place by using the password feature that is available. This will make your Zoom room link longer, more private, and less likely to be stumbled upon by a nefarious Zoom-boomer.
  • The next layer available to a Zoom host is to use the waiting room feature. This allows you to approve of each attendee before they join your meeting.
  • And finally, you can lock your meeting once everyone has arrived and this will prevent anyone new from joining. Even if they have the link and password.

Here is a quick video Zoom did about how the password and waiting room work.

Password and Waiting Room.

As a Zoom attendee, you also have power.

  •  If you are attending a meeting, and the host didn’t do any of the things mentioned above, and a Zoom bomber managed to find the meeting, and send a link through the chat box to a malicious software download, you can easily avoid the danger by NOT CLICKING on the link.
  • You can also simply LEAVE THE MEETING.

The next Zoom danger is “privacy issues”

Using Zoom and Staying Safe
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UNFORTUNATE TRUTH

Most of us cannot afford to be as private and secure as we truly want to be.

  • For the majority of us, the most secure online software/software settings will be either too expensive or too complicated to use, or both.
  • The research required to make sure you are navigating the internet safely is vast and ever changing.
  • They probably already have your data. Just by going online your data is being shared.

The reason so many companies now offer really cool free/inexpensive services is that they can earn revenue on our data, your data, my data, and the data of the world.

We trade our data for convenience and free/inexpensive services.

Companies, government, watch dog groups, and hackers are all pulling in different directions about how us regular people should be protected (or not).

There are also plenty of really smart, passionate, and persuasive people out there putting pressure on the government and big companies like Amazon, Microsoft, and Google as well as little companies like Lastpass, Slack, and Zoom to make them more accountable to protect our privacy and give us resources and procedures to recover if are attacked.

Most of us are and should be, spending our time and energy on other things. Humans only have so much bandwidth. We need ease of use; we need to be able to go about our business and do the things that matter to us. At some point, we must pick the brands we choose to trust.

How does this relate to Zoom in particular?

Zoom falls in the same category as the most legitimate online software. It is not the best; it is not the worst. They are big enough now that they are getting hit with tomatoes and one of the most telling things about this is how they are responding. Not how the media says they are responding, but what they actually say.

Here is what Zoom says about its privacy and security measures. And how you can use that information.

Privacy and Security Measures

I also know that Microsoft Teams/Skype/link, Google meet/hangouts and other videos conferencing software all have their problems as well. Currently, I am choosing to trust Zoom for video conferencing. Currently Zoom is working on becoming better.

I balance the Zoom privacy settings available so that my people can easily join a meeting with me and not attract Zoom-bombers.

I am using their password feature with the password embedded in the invitation link for all my meetings and for meetings larger than 12, I also use the waiting room.

Go take a look at your Zoom settings. Sign in to your account and go to:
zoom.us/profile/setting

Look for:

  • Waiting room – Turn it off or keep it on (it’s annoying for one to one meetings)
  • Passcode – Turn it on
  • Personal Meeting ID – you can choose the password you want to give to your people.
  • Embed passcode in invite link for one-click join – Turn it on

I am hopeful that during this time of testing Zoom will maintain its focus on ease of use as they continue to improve their security and privacy features and policies.

Because if it is too difficult to use then who cares if it is secure?

Nicole Lux-Ritchie

Nicole Lux-Ritchie

CEO, Luxcentric
Luxcentric.com
Resouce: Rescue My Digital Office - The GAME

 

about

Nicole Lux-Ritchie

 

It all began when my grandmother asked me to help her learn how to use the computer. She was 80 at the time and it is because of her (In a variety of ways) that I am doing what I can to help anyone, no matter their technological skill, get control of their technology situation. She encouraged me to share my ability to take complex topics and break them down into simple steps and normal language.

My mission now is to help professionals gain the technical skills they need to grow their business and focus on their vision. Luxcentric is dedicated to training, using practical strategies, in the area of the core technologies. Email - Files - Calendars - Contacts

Don’t let your Technology Bully You!

Please check out the great conversations I have been having in the Fave Lifestyles group. Fave Lifestyles Posts with Nicole 

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Grief at the Passing of my Mom

Grief at the Passing of my Mom

by | Brenda Bratt, Guest Expert, Your Best Self

Fave Lifestyles

​At the end of July, 2020, my Mom passed away.

Trained as an elementary school teacher, she was a stay-at home Mom in our growing up years. She taught herself to cook, bake, can and preserve, clean, garden and host. She loved the endeavors of homemaking and shared these happily with our family, friends, church friends, and neighbors. She learned to sew from her own mother and sewed costumes for Halloween and joyfully took up the work of sewing a skating costume or hat for “Hat Day” at school. She was a strong believer in God and ensured we all landed in church on Sunday morning and joined church groups for our respective ages.

Born in the Netherlands after WWII, she immigrated with her family in 1950 at the age of 7 to Canada, where she quickly learned English and excelled at school. She returned to teaching after having five children, having realized a Bachelor’s degree was now required, and having put herself through undergrad so that she emerged with refreshed credentials to teach at the high school level. In the years that ensued, she taught legions of high school students about the proper structuring of an essay, tracing themes in literature, and the wit of Shakespeare.

Her own mother passed away of leukemia in 1990 at the age of 81, and when Mom was 73, she was diagnosed with the same condition. Unable to qualify for bone marrow transplant because of her age, undaunted, Mom stepped through chemo treatments, initially beating back leukemia, and then struggling through continued chemo and complications when cancer re-emerged. She experienced pneumonia, blood infections, and skin lesions, ultimately losing so much strength that she would fall on short trips to the bathroom, or just trying to get up from bed. Low blood pressure contributed to her overall weakness, and in the end, a combination of these challenges took her life away.

She was not done living though. Though she’d had a fulfilling career, raised children and grandchildren, and celebrated over 55 years of married life to my Dad, she still had plans. She wanted to see her grandchildren graduate and get married. She longed to meet and hold great-grandchildren. And she had plans to write her “memoirs.”

Daily Grief, Small Comforts

Losing my Mom creates a big hole in my life. Shopping in her favorite grocery store after her death, I lingered in the spots that contained products I saw in her own kitchen, knowing she too had stood in that very place. After we distributed her clothing and jewelry to the women in our family, and friends outside the family and women’s shelters who could use them, I wore her belongings daily. At this moment I am wearing one of her long sleeve t-shirts, though it has holes in the sleeve and has probably seen better days. I drape her leopard print blanket over me when I long to be close to her, the very one my daughter and I brought to her in the hospital when she was first admitted.

In the very first days after losing her, I heard her voice in my head. I heard her whispering to me she was OK, that she was with those we loved, and after death you enter into love and “it’s all God’s love, honey.” As I accepted gifts from my Dad of Mom’s belongings, I heard her whisper to me “you enjoy it, honey.” That voice is quieting now, but I feel a sense of holding her spirit in my heart and soul; that the very essence of her is embodied in me, and I am witnessing parts of my life through her eyes. I am experiencing it for us both and know what she would have thought of it. My grief is her grief; my joy is her joy.

My Mom was not a perfect woman. She was given to pride, would not back down in an argument, and broke trust in her relationship with my Dad. In our relationship there was often irritation on my part if she took on a haughty tone or brought forth judgment about myself, my husband or kids. I am quite sure I injured her too, as I distanced or got defensive.

Grief at the Passing of my Mom
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Life Lessons

In her last days she repeated two ideas to me that summed up some of her major lessons in life: 1. “It is better to be kind than right.” This was a big insight for her, as someone who enjoyed debate and would not back down in an argument. This lesson conveys her insight that relationships are our greatest treasures. 2. “In your relationships, always reach for forgiveness and commitment, forgiveness and commitment.” This is how we make amends, how we love, how we build each other up, how we retain the great gift of relationship.

Lessons in Grief

In my work as a therapist, caring for others who are experiencing grief, we honor the life of the person who has been lost. We commemorate their lives, highs and lows, and savor the flavor of the relationship. We laugh over silly moments and wonder at the wise ones. Drawing closer to our loved ones who have passed helps us commemorate the life they lived, and the love they shared. Now that my Mom has passed, I have learned some additional lessons about grieving:

Unpredictable Tears: I have woken at 3 am in tears, found myself in tears in the shower or while on my Peloton. Sometimes while receiving care and comfort from friends and family I can be overcome with grief; other times I am able to be joyful and filled with gratitude. The tears are random, and when the grief hits, I need to honor it and spend time with it.

Comfort from Others: Friends and family who have been through the process of losing a parent understand like no one else. They know exactly what to say and how to care. And this makes me realize how little I understood when, in the past, my friends and family have lost their parents. I am grateful to receive this care and realize the importance of caring for others in the future when they experience this kind of loss.

Searching for Messages: My last phone message from her, the last text message she sent, the last gift and card she sent – these are priceless to me now. When I helped my Dad with Mom’s phone and iPad in the days after her death, I realized she had written me a text message she had never sent. I slowly and uncertainly pressed “send” on the message, grateful to receive her kind words, crying and laughing at the unexpected gift.

Permanently Broken-Hearted: What I realize now is that my heart is broken in a way that will never be repaired. While there are longer and longer stretches where I don’t cry, or feel my heart ache, and while there are even days that I think about her only a few times, I also know I will miss her the rest of my life.

I am grateful to have had a good, good Mom. Her love shaped me. She encouraged me and always believed in me. Even when we had our differences, I never doubted her love for me. I will carry that gift of love forever, which I hope will make me a more tender mother, a wiser and more compassionate friend, a more attuned therapist, and a more appreciative wife.

In her passing, my Mom gave me this gift: cherish the relationships you have. It is better to be kind than right. And reach for forgiveness and commitment, forgiveness and commitment.

Seeking Professional Help

If you find yourself struggling with grief and loss, consider seeking help from a professional therapist. Often, getting care from a qualified professional can help process pain and yield new awareness. Please feel free to contact me if I can help you get connected to someone who will be a good fit for you.

Brenda Reiss

Brenda Reiss

Forgivness Coach
brendareisscoaching.com

about

Brenda Reiss

The author of “Forgive Yourself”, Brenda Reiss truly walks her talk. She discovered the power of self-forgiveness when a series of life events put her in a very dark place. Failed marriages, abuse, and severe health issues were just a few of the challenges she faced.

Determined to rewrite her story, Brenda sought answers – and found them in the concept of “radical forgiveness”.

What she learned changed her life forever.

Brenda is highly skilled at helping people find peace in their personal and professional lives. Coupling teachable techniques with forgiveness theory, this certified Radical Forgiveness© Master coach creates an environment which allows clients to release anger, shame, and guilt. The result? An opportunity to live with joy in the present and the future.

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How to Stop Blowing it on the Weekend

How to Stop Blowing it on the Weekend

by | Candy Wright, Guest Expert, Relationships, Your Best Self

Fave Lifestyles

Are you afraid to blow it with your eating plan?

Do you feel like you “do well all week” with your eating…

But going into the weekend you worry “you might blow it”

because you have that family gathering…

or small socially distanced event that has lots of food…

I understand, I’ve been there.

AND…

If this is you, stop.

No one “blows it” my sweet friend.

Many think that “blowing it” (eating all the things) is something that happens TO them.

Nope. It doesn’t.

It’s a choice.

You are not at the effect of food hopping in your mouth and IT “causing you to blow it” my friend.

You do that.

With a choice in your mind. With a decision in your mind.

Which means you DO have the power to stop.

Food or drink going in your mouth, even though you feel so pulled by it at times, IS ALWAYS A CHOICE.

It may feel like an unconscious choice at times…

But that’s ONLY because you haven’t learned the simple tools to bring conscious, compassionate awareness to it yet.

AND: That’s truly the good news.

HERE’S THE THING:

There’s an actual mental and emotional moment…

(and usually an underlying unmet need)

between making a choice to put food in your mouth and actually putting it in your mouth.

In fact, there’s a mental and emotional moment…

(and underlying unmet need)

before you even make the decision to put food in your mouth.

And when you think “I may blow it”…

Your brain is closing down that mental and emotional capacity…

and your ability to stop eating and fill your unmet need for real.

So what do you do instead?

Step 1: If you’re going somewhere where your brain thinks it’s going to “blow it”…

MAKE A DECISION that you are in charge and the “blow it” brain isn’t in charge.

Seems simple. But most don’t realize this is even an option. It’s always a choice to “BLOW IT”.

Choose YOU, choose to have your back.

 
 
How to Stop Blowing it on the Weekend
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Step 2: MAKE A DECISION BEFOREHAND:

a. Look at the menu before you go.

b. Ask what will be served before you go.

c. Then make a written plan before you go.

Yes, write down what you’ll eat and what you will CHOOSE NOT to eat.

This helps your brain follow through and build’s trust within yourself. d. And do it with this thought in mind: I’m learning to have my back with food.

Step 3: If your brain thinks, yeah whatever, “have my back with food” “I just want to eat all the things…I want to blow it!!!” STOP.

Then give your brain 90 seconds to deep breathe to comfort itself.

Don’t put anything in your mouth.

And ask yourself what type of comfort or need you are wanting that you’re trying to fill with food.

If you feel calm and in control after the 90 seconds, awesome. Stick to your eating plan.

If not, breathe for another 90 seconds then ask:

Ask: What need am I trying to fill deep inside with this food?

How can I comfort and calm myself without food now?

IF YOU’RE NOT SURE…

One option is to envision yourself as a child and when she first felt this way.

Then envision giving her a hug and telling her what she wanted to hear then.

Tell her:

“I love you”. “I’m here for you”. “I’m not leaving you”. “I’ve got your back”.

Let it in.

Take 4 deep, slow breaths and…

Repeat if necessary.

And so you are aware….

You’re not alone…this is a human brain wiring thing.

We all need comforting.

And when we need comforting…

It’s usually ONE OF THE FOLLOWING NEEDS THAT IS GOING UNMET when you think you’re going to “BLOW IT”:

A. NEED FOR CONNECTION/LOVE/COMFORT B. NEED FOR “CONTROL” OR SAFETY C. NEED TO FEEL ENOUGH (ENOUGH TIME, $$, RESOURCES, DONE ENOUGH) D. NEED TO FEEL WORTHY E. NEED FOR RELAXATION/REST/SLEEP F. NEED FOR FUN/ CREATIVITY/CREATION/VARIETY/ADVENTURE G. NEED FOR EXPRESSION (IS THERE SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT SAYING OR DOING OR OWNING) H. NEED FOR LEARNING AND GROWTH I. NEED FOR HEALING, FORGIVENESS

(Because you are sad, grieving, lonely or have past wounds that you ruminate on) J. NEED FOR JOY/FULFILMENT/PURPOSE

These are just a few of the background unmet needs and emotional stressors that most don’t realize are driving the “I’m afraid I’m going to blow it” mentality.

Kind of fascinating huh?

This is what I help my clients do in my 6-month Emotional Freedom Weight-Loss Program.

We unlock & heal their Unique Emotional Stress & Unmet Needs Patterns so they no longer run the show and drive them to “blow it” with food.

And then they create Emotional Freedom from food!. And you can too.

Love,
Candy

p.s. If you’re ready to stop the “I’m going to blow it self-sabotage cycle with food”

AND…you’re ready to be done with Emotional Eating and Peri/Menopausal Weight Gain for the LAST TIME…

THE BEST WAY to do that is to hire me as your coach.

I WILL help you solve this for the last time. I guarantee it.

MESSAGE ME TODAY to start that process with a complimentary coaching strategy consult call NOW.

Candy Wright

Candy Wright

Certified Life & Weight Loss Coach | Certified Relationship and Healing Coach | Public Speaker | Workshop Leader
candywright.com

about

Candy Wright

 I help women over 50-ish+ Create Freedom from Emotional Overeating, Lose up to 50lbs and fall in love with their aging bodies so they can use that energy once consumed by all the harsh voices about their weight and bodies to live the life they really want to be living.

In her 6-month, 1:1, online coaching program, Candy has helped dozens and dozens of mid-life women who struggle with weight gain as they hit middle age no longer struggle with sugar addiction, heal their relationships with food, with their aging bodies, their minds, their emotions, and their lives. She’s helped them free up all that emotional and mental energy they used to use to beat themselves up about food to now start businesses, get promotions and raises, get married in mid-life, and heal their relationships with their grown children, with their partners, siblings, parents and friends.

When she’s not loving on and serving her clients, from Bellevue, WA, you’ll either find her walking and laughing with her hubby, John, who is her hero, along the gorgeous lake view trails (when it’s not raining) or pretending she’s on Broadway singing musical tunes in the house and car.

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