5 Things I Stopped Doing In Midlife

You heard it all the time when you were a young mom/wife/career girl who thought 28 was
‘old’ and couldn’t even be bothered to read the labels on skincare products. Why bother with
skincare products? You had great skin! “Wait until you’re my age,” would come from women in
their 40s and 50s, and you’d think ‘my age’ was forever away.

Somehow you blinked, and now you’re the one thinking, “Ha. Just you wait!” The good news is
that while there’s much we leave behind when we hit midlife, there’s also so much we pick
up—ironically by quitting something. Here are five things I stopped doing in midlife, and in
stopping, I started feeling amazing about myself and life in general.

I Stopped Worrying About Whether People Meant What They Said

How much of my life had I wasted worrying about whether or not someone was doing
something because they really wanted to, or they just felt like they ‘had,’ to—heaping guilt on
me for their obligation filling?

When I hit my 40s I realized two really important things:

I did not have to say, “Yes,” and it was completely okay for me to say, “No!” And, I didn’t have
to make up any excuses about either answer.

More, I learned that other people had that same right, and whether they chose to exercise it or
not was not my concern. If I was going to grumble about volunteering for the school carnival,
then I was just going to say, “No, I can’t.”

On that same token, I stopped worrying about whether or not someone ‘really’ wanted to do
something I asked of them. Instead, I expected that their “Yes” meant,”Yes,” and their “No,”
meant “No.” And, because that’s how I started living my life, I never felt guilty accepting
someone’s positive (or regrets) answers. It’s empowering, and it makes everything I do
something done with intention and purpose.

I Stopped Doing Things I Didn’t Want to Do

Realizing that I didn’t need to analyze the intentions of everyone else gave me the motivation
to look at my intentions as well. There are tons of things in this world I still want to do, and I
don’t need to sacrifice those dreams by filling my life with things I do out of obligation and not
desire. Life’s too short not to do everything with a joyful heart, but that means giving yourself
permission to simply say, “No, that’s not something I want to do, but thanks for thinking of me.”
It feels a little awkward at first, but it’s really a matter of prioritizing so you can give your very
best to the things you really want to do.

I Stopped Being Judgmental of Others

Isn’t it funny how the older we get, the more we realize we didn’t know as much as we thought
we did? Hitting midlife gives you the opportunity to look at the way things actually panned out
vs. the way you *thought* they would. You learn that everyone has a story, nothing rarely ever
goes as planned, and compassion and grace in situations feels much better than passing
judgement. At this point in life, showing compassion and understanding is easier than sitting in
judgement. It takes less energy and it open you up to too knowing people you may have
passed by if you were being judgmental.

I Stopped Being Judgmental of Myself

Why are we so much harder on ourselves than anyone else? Why do we settle for so much less
of others but expect we have to be some sort of superwoman who does everything perfectly,
never messes up and always meets everyone’s expectations? Maybe it's our desire to maintain
some sort of control in our lives, but it is perfectly fine to give ourselves some grace. We cannot
be everything to everyone and we cannot expect to be perfect. Look at all the good you do for
your family, friends and community and be proud of yourselves instead of our own worst critic.

I Stopped Living for Tomorrow and Started Living for Today

Tomorrow is never guaranteed. The nurturer in me has always been one to prepare, prepare,
prepare. If I didn’t have a plan and two back-up plans, I felt a bit…lost. But the 40s and 50s are
when you realize that there’s so much to soak up in this moment, in this day. Yes, we need to
take efforts to ensure tomorrow is full of opportunity too, but not at the cost of missing the
beauty of today.

Midlife is a great time to start all sorts of things in life. But, there’s a lot of merit in stopping
some things too! Take a look at your life and figure out where you can say good-bye! You’ll be
surprised at the amazing things that can fill that space.

5 Things I Stopped Doing In Midlife
Karen Rae

Karen Rae

Owner, Fave Lifestyles


Karen Rae

I was becoming an empty nester, a woman of a more interesting age and in transition. Sound familiar? I was at that place where we question our purpose, value, and worth and what in the world are we going to do with the rest of our lives.

I noticed women have a huge hunger to belong to a community of women where they can feel safe, share openly from their heart and have other women to do life with! This is why I created my Fave Lifestyles.

Fave is for the woman who wants to call Fave her community of women who support, uplift, and make her feel better about herself. I want to create a place where we help her answer life's questions and just do life together!

Let's Do Life Together at Fave Lifestyles


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