Self-Quiz: Are You “Too Busy”?

Self-Quiz: Are You “Too Busy”?

Self-Quiz: Are You “Too Busy”?

Time is the great equalizer. Everybody gets the same amount: 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour. We can’t save time or accumulate or rearrange it. We can’t turn it off or on. It can’t be replaced.

But these days, it seems as if the lament of not having enough time has become a national anthem. Everywhere people find themselves constantly in a rush, over-booked and over-scheduled with no time off. Life is accompanied by the ongoing stress of not enough time. And sometimes doing too much and being too busy can be a way of numbing feelings or disguising depression or anger.

Though it may not always seem so, how we fill our time and how we spend it is our choice. Answer the following questions to discover if you’re caught up in the “too-busy” cycle.

I constantly find myself doing “urgent” things and trying to catch up.

  1. I allow myself to drift into obligations when I don’t know how much time or energy they’ll require.
  2. I find myself running from when I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night. I’m always tired and never feel like I accomplished enough.
  3. I seldom schedule a day off for myself and when I do, I tend to fill it with activities.
  4. I don’t make time for “self-care” activities: physical exercise, nurturing or “pampering” myself, cultural stimulation, spiritual well-being, learning something new, playing, or simply doing nothing.
  5. I seldom have time to do the things I really love.
  6. My work and project areas are cluttered with “I’ll look at this later” stacks and “to-do” piles.
  7. I often miscalculate how long certain activities will take.
  8. I often miss deadlines or work long hours to meet a deadline.
  9. I respond to interruptions such as phone calls, faxes, email, beepers and pagers, and allow them to take me off track.
  10. I try to keep things in my head rather than making lists. If I do make a daily “to-do” list, it’s impossible to complete in a day.
  11. I tend to move from one urgent thing to the next, rather than working toward specific goals and objectives.
  12. I find myself constantly wishing I had more time or projecting an imaginary future when I have more time, making comments such as “as soon as…” or “next year…”
  13. I spend time running errands and rushing because I didn’t plan well enough.
  14. I spend time doing things I could pay someone else to do.
  15. I often do things because I “should,” or continue to do things that no longer fit who I am.
  16. Other people complain that my schedule doesn’t allow enough time for them.

So now, take a breath and then another one. Just going through that list can cause anxiety yet that’s not what it’s meant for. The intention is to bring awareness to the crazy busy that we get ourselves in and usually without being aware of it. Our calendars and other people’s needs can run our lives.

Now that there is some awareness of one area or several, take some time and add yourself to your calendar. Yep. Right now. Not just exercise time. Some YOU time of writing, journaling, dreaming, planning something that you want to do. Even if it is only 20 minutes.

Next, make that time non-negotiable. You are important. Yes, we have families and clients and obligations but what if you were super sick and could not meet those obligations? Put the oxygen mask on yourself first.

Just a reminder that we all need including myself as we approach the holidays.

Here’s to some YOU time and a more relaxed day, week, month.

Brenda Reiss

Brenda Reiss

Forgivness Coach
brendareisscoaching.com

about

Brenda Reiss

The author of “Forgive Yourself”, Brenda Reiss truly walks her talk. She discovered the power of self-forgiveness when a series of life events put her in a very dark place. Failed marriages, abuse, and severe health issues were just a few of the challenges she faced.

Determined to rewrite her story, Brenda sought answers – and found them in the concept of “radical forgiveness”.

What she learned changed her life forever.

Brenda is highly skilled at helping people find peace in their personal and professional lives. Coupling teachable techniques with forgiveness theory, this certified Radical Forgiveness© Master coach creates an environment which allows clients to release anger, shame, and guilt. The result? An opportunity to live with joy in the present and the future.

Join Our Community of Amazing Women

Be the first to know about upcoming events, new shows and stories!

Accessing the Power of Gratitude

Accessing the Power of Gratitude

Accessing the Power of Gratitude

The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.

That’s why practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.

There are many things to be grateful for: loved ones, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, food on our table, warm jackets, freedom, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies. What’s on your list?

Some Ways to Practice Gratitude

• Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.

• Make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures.

• Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.

• Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.

• When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.

• Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude.

As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.

Brenda Reiss

Brenda Reiss

Forgivness Coach
brendareisscoaching.com

about

Brenda Reiss

The author of “Forgive Yourself”, Brenda Reiss truly walks her talk. She discovered the power of self-forgiveness when a series of life events put her in a very dark place. Failed marriages, abuse, and severe health issues were just a few of the challenges she faced.

Determined to rewrite her story, Brenda sought answers – and found them in the concept of “radical forgiveness”.

What she learned changed her life forever.

Brenda is highly skilled at helping people find peace in their personal and professional lives. Coupling teachable techniques with forgiveness theory, this certified Radical Forgiveness© Master coach creates an environment which allows clients to release anger, shame, and guilt. The result? An opportunity to live with joy in the present and the future.

Join Our Community of Amazing Women

Be the first to know about upcoming events, new shows and stories!

Love The One You’re With!

Love The One You’re With!

Love The One You’re With

When you look in the mirror what do you see?  Who do you see?

Can you look into those beautiful eyes looking back at you or do you skirt around those eyes just to see if your face is presentable?

I spent most of my life afraid to look in my own eyes for fear of what I would see.  The fear was of not being good enough.  That I was the mistake I was working hard not to be.  But I didn’t know that.

I just knew that I needed to look good.  Be good.  Do the right things.  Putting on the smile to hide the pain from the past I was deeply ashamed of.  The choices and decisions I had made that had me ridden with guilt. Thinking I was alone in all of this muck and that everyone else was better than me.  No one else was as unworthy as I was.

Today that is not the case.  When I look in the mirror I see a woman who is willing to accept her past as just that.  The past.  This way I can learn from it and not feel swallowed up by it.

Being willing to take responsibility for those choices and decisions I had already made gave me a shift in perception that I needed to be able to make the choices and decisions that I am currently making to fuel the life I want to create.

This is done through self-awareness.  As we learn to observe ourselves, we can change our thoughts, ideas and behaviors which begins our personal transformation.

Self-awareness means that we stop long enough to acknowledge who we see in the mirror.  The perfect you and the imperfect you.

We all have both sides to us which makes us works in progress.  All of us.

The challenge is to trust that perfect you.  The one you are at your core.  The one you are becoming.  

Here is a way to begin…

We’ve all heard of mirror work and some of us have tried it yet doing it this way can bring change.

Each day take 3 minutes and look into your eyes in the mirror.  Set your timer on your phone. You want to take the full 3 minutes.

  • Look into your eyes
  • What feelings arise?
  • Do you want to look away?  Do you look away?  Does it feel intense?
  • What are the thoughts that arise?  Does it sound like “this is stupid”, “of course i love myself.  I don’t need to do this”.
  • Stay there a little longer
  • Does your mind start to calm down?
  • How about those feelings?  Is there sadness, grief, joy, peace, calm?

Practice this every day for 7 days and see how you feel.  I encourage you to keep going until you can look at yourself and feel peace, even love.

Learning to love yourself in all your complexity can be challenging and so worth it.  Cherishing yourself for all you’ve experienced and the potential yet to come.

The magic lies in loving the one you’re with…you!

Brenda Reiss

Brenda Reiss

Forgivness Coach
brendareisscoaching.com

about

Brenda Reiss

The author of “Forgive Yourself”, Brenda Reiss truly walks her talk. She discovered the power of self-forgiveness when a series of life events put her in a very dark place. Failed marriages, abuse, and severe health issues were just a few of the challenges she faced.

Determined to rewrite her story, Brenda sought answers – and found them in the concept of “radical forgiveness”.

What she learned changed her life forever.

Brenda is highly skilled at helping people find peace in their personal and professional lives. Coupling teachable techniques with forgiveness theory, this certified Radical Forgiveness© Master coach creates an environment which allows clients to release anger, shame, and guilt. The result? An opportunity to live with joy in the present and the future.

Join Our Community of Amazing Women

Be the first to know about upcoming events, new shows and stories!

Are You as Happy as You Want to Be?

Are You as Happy as You Want to Be?

Are You as Happy as You Want to Be?

Are You as Happy as You Want to Be?

Do you want to be right?  Or happy?

Does that question irritate you?  It did me for a long time until I really got honest 

And said…I want to be right. 

There were conflicting energies going on inside me.  

I really wanted to be happy.

Yet the other side of me wanted to be right.

Why need to be right?

There was something about gaining more esteem for myself by influencing other people’s opinions.

My self-esteem (which is how I feel about myself) obviously needed some help.

When we are influencing other people’s opinions – that situation can be tense and awkward.

What do we really want? 

What I wanted was to feel better about myself.  I wanted to feel worthy. I wanted to feel like I had something worthwhile to say and share.

Yet my ego was taking precedence.  

I had to learn to make a decision.  Do I want to be right? Or do I want to be happy?

It’s not just a cliché.  It’s the difference of feeling utter frustration or feeling peace.

If you are experiencing this kind of situation, ask yourself:

  1. How do you want to feel with this person?
  2. What is it that you are truly looking for inside of yourself?
  3. Do you want to live in conflict or peace?

It sure has changed my relationships and how I view life.

Brenda Reiss

Brenda Reiss

Forgivness Coach
brendareisscoaching.com

about

Brenda Reiss

The author of “Forgive Yourself”, Brenda Reiss truly walks her talk. She discovered the power of self-forgiveness when a series of life events put her in a very dark place. Failed marriages, abuse, and severe health issues were just a few of the challenges she faced.

Determined to rewrite her story, Brenda sought answers – and found them in the concept of “radical forgiveness”.

What she learned changed her life forever.

Brenda is highly skilled at helping people find peace in their personal and professional lives. Coupling teachable techniques with forgiveness theory, this certified Radical Forgiveness© Master coach creates an environment which allows clients to release anger, shame, and guilt. The result? An opportunity to live with joy in the present and the future.

Join Our Community of Amazing Women

Be the first to know about upcoming events, new shows and stories!

10 Ways to Conquer Fear

10 Ways to Conquer Fear

10 Ways to Conquer Fear

Fear talks to people. And when they listen, this is what can happen:

Sheila loved to dance but she wouldn’t go out on the dance floor with her fiancé because she thought she’d look clumsy and ridiculous.

Arnie knew he deserved a raise, but he was so nervous about approaching his boss, he never asked for one.

Delilia’s fear of bears was so great that she wouldn’t go on a camping trip with her friends. And their campsite wasn’t even in bear territory.

Fear is that voice inside our heads that says, you can’t, you shouldn’t, what if…. Fear keeps us from taking risks that might enrich our life or holds us back from doing some things we need to do. Experience new and exciting vistas? Accomplish something really great? Fear says, “Not on your life.”

This isn’t to say that fear is all bad. At its best it’s an instinctive, natural ability to help us survive. Without fear we might attempt to stroll across freeways or scratch behind a lion’s ears. But given the upper hand, fear can dominate our life and make even the innocuous—taking a walk or answering the phone—a daunting experience.

Ninety-nine percent of what we worry about never happens, according to Susan Jeffers, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. “There’s a voice inside our heads that’s always heralding doom and disaster even before we get started on something,” she says.

On its own, fear won’t disappear. Following are some strategies to help you deal with fears that might be holding you back from something you want or need to do.

  • Get information. In an information void, fear clicks in to do what it thinks is its job. But when you find out about what scares you, you replace fear with knowledge.
  • Learn how to do it. If there’s something you’d like to do, but you’re afraid to try, take lessons. We’re not born knowing how to ride horses or make pottery.
  • Find models. Let someone who’s not afraid model courage for you. Just as fearful behavior breeds the jitters, courageous behavior invites confidence.
  • Talk about your fears. Keeping your fears bottled up inside magnifies them. Taking them out into the light can shrink them. Find a good listener who won’t pooh-pooh your fears or make judgments.
  • Talk to yourself. Self-talk filled with positive messages can change fear energy into positive energy. Eliminate the cant’s, shouldnt’s and ought-to’s from your self-talk vocabulary.
  • Use your imagination. Before you arrive at the party, imagine the other guests are as frightened as you are. Or see your audience as people who really want the information you have. Visualize yourself doing what you are afraid to do; see yourself as graceful, strong and capable.
  • Focus on the little things. Keep your mind on the details, not the Big Picture. Complete the report word by word, pay the bills one by one, see the group individual by individual.
  • Expand your comfort zone. Take a small risk each day. Make one phone call, ask for one thing you want, go to one new place. Little by little your confidence will expand, too.
  • Relax and breathe. Sometimes the physical response to fear creates even more fear. Physically relax your body and breathe in and out to release tension.
  • Ask for help. If your fears are pervasive or severe, you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder, in which case you should definitely seek help. If your fears are not debilitating, but still get in the way of doing what you need or want to do, asking for help can make all the difference.

     

It’s not that we totally eliminate fear from our lives yet learning to work with it and find strategies that help us learn to respond differently to it can bring some ease back into our lives.

Brenda Reiss

Brenda Reiss

Forgivness Coach
brendareisscoaching.com

about

Brenda Reiss

The author of “Forgive Yourself”, Brenda Reiss truly walks her talk. She discovered the power of self-forgiveness when a series of life events put her in a very dark place. Failed marriages, abuse, and severe health issues were just a few of the challenges she faced.

Determined to rewrite her story, Brenda sought answers – and found them in the concept of “radical forgiveness”.

What she learned changed her life forever.

Brenda is highly skilled at helping people find peace in their personal and professional lives. Coupling teachable techniques with forgiveness theory, this certified Radical Forgiveness© Master coach creates an environment which allows clients to release anger, shame, and guilt. The result? An opportunity to live with joy in the present and the future.

Join Our Community of Amazing Women

Be the first to know about upcoming events, new shows and stories!

Pin It on Pinterest