Handling Your First Holiday Season After Divorce

Handling Your First Holiday Season After Divorce

It’s the hap-hap-happiest time of the year, or so you hear all around. The music is playing, the
lights are twinkling and the feeling of general goodwill toward all is in the air.

Except, this year? This year it feels wrong and weird and a million other things you can’t put a
word to. If this is your first holiday season after divorce, you may be wondering how you’re
going to get through, and just precisely what getting through even looks like. You’re not alone,
and we’ve some tips on handling your first holiday season after divorce.

Thanksgiving, Party Of One

Divorce does a lot of things to family dynamics, even if it was an amicable divorce. The dinners
and holiday shows and present-openings and brunches that were givens are now often awkward
reminders of how your family may be splitting its time. You may have children still living with
you and your divorce agreement has dictated where they’ll be for Trick-or-Treating,
Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s. Or, the kids may be grown but it’s awkward for
celebrating with them and your ex. You may believe it’s just easier to be alone.

You may be right, but only sort of. While the first holiday season after divorce may find you no
longer celebrating with your ex, it does not mean you have to forgo celebrating. If you’re not
going to be able to be with your kids on the exact day, choose the day you will be together to
celebrate. The holidays are about what’s in the heart, not the calendar date, and you get to decide
how your heart spends each day.

If you are alone on the specific holidays, but don’t want to be, find some friends who would like
to support you and join them. You know they’ve been offering, and now’s the best time to take
them up on it. Or, consider volunteering at a local community organization. The holidays are a
lonely time of year for many people, and serving others is a great way to remember how lucky
you are, despite how hard the days may feel right now.

Or, enjoy the alone time. You may actually enjoy a day of peace and quiet on Thanksgiving Day.
You can do whatever you like with no obligation to anyone else. You get to dictate the way you
want to spend the days, and that’s empowering.

New Seasons, New Traditions

Now is also a great time to create new traditions. While this may be a place you never imagined
yourself to be, it’s also YOUR place, and you can make it whatever you like. If you’ve always
thought it would be neat to wake up on a tropical island for Christmas, do it! If you’ve always
wanted to be one of those crazy Thanksgiving Day shoppers, grab some girlfriends who also
wanted to give it a whirl, and head out into the frenzy. This is a new season in your life, sure, and
the holidays can seem to exaggerate how different they are. If you allow that space to be filled
with new experiences, it becomes more exciting!

Figure Out How To Communicate Effectively

If your divorce is still relatively recent and fresh, so may many of the intense feelings that come
along with it. Just because this is the time of year where everyone is kind to everyone even if
they don’t want to be, don’t feel like you have to put on a mask for everyone else’s sake.
Especially if you still co-parent children, you’ll need to communicate about plans, but feel free to
find ways to do so that don’t wound your heart. Email or texts may sometimes be more
comfortable because they leave emotions out of words, and it’s okay to remember that this year
may sting more than others. Just remember that, though…the first year will most likely be
tougher than any other. If you can remember that everything may feel less painful.

Feel Free To Say, “No.”

Most importantly, do what you need to do for your heart this year. If you don’t want to go to that
family thing you’ve always done, even if your ex isn’t going to be there, then don’t. Simply say,
“No.” If you believe you’re just going to hear about how different things are or feel like your
newly single status is going to be a reminder in every face you see, simply bow out of the event.
There’s nothing that is obligating you, particularly this year, and it’s okay for you to guard your
heart so it can heal.

The first holiday season after divorce brings with it so many new and unknown feelings, but if
you remember that you’re allowed to feel what you feel and that growth and new beginnings are
on the horizon, you’ll get through it. And, you’ll find you may even thrive in the process!

about

Karen Rae

I was becoming an empty nester, a woman of a more interesting age and in transition. Sound familiar? I was at that place where we question our purpose, value, and worth and what in the world are we going to do with the rest of our lives.

I noticed women have a huge hunger to belong to a community of women where they can feel safe, share openly from their heart and have other women to do life with! This is why I created my Fave Lifestyles.

Fave is for the woman who wants to call Fave her community of women who support, uplift, and make her feel better about herself. I want to create a place where we help her answer life's questions and just do life together!

Let's Do Life Together at Fave Lifestyles

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How to Add Meditation to Your Daily Life

How to Add Meditation to Your Daily Life

Meditation has been a practice forever. It is practiced in many cultures and religions and
has become more mainstream in the past decade. Meditating is wonderful way to
reduce stress, be more mindful and add balance to your life. It can be a daunting
practice to start, so we want to share easy ways to add meditation to your life.

Start with the Basics

The most basic aspects of meditation are being still and breathing. Start with a few
minutes of sitting still and focusing on deep breaths. When you are new to meditation it
can feel strange, so starting in a very basic way will ease you into the practice.

Try Guided Meditation

If you find it hard to turn down your internal dialogue, you can try guided meditation. A
guided meditation is an audio recording that takes you through a meditation session.
Guided meditation can be as short as a few minutes to as long as a few hours. It is a
good way to try meditation if you have no idea what you are doing.

Explore Other Forms of Meditation

The common perception of meditation is sitting cross-legged with your eyes closed for
long periods of time. In reality there are many ways to meditate. From simple breathing
to mindful coloring there are many ways to meditate. When you first start incorporating
the practice, find something that you really enjoy and get started.

Adding meditation to your daily life can be a game changer. It can help you be more
mindful, reduce stress and be more present in your life. By practicing daily, you will
improve your technique and see the benefits grow over time.

about

Karen Rae

I was becoming an empty nester, a woman of a more interesting age and in transition. Sound familiar? I was at that place where we question our purpose, value, and worth and what in the world are we going to do with the rest of our lives.

I noticed women have a huge hunger to belong to a community of women where they can feel safe, share openly from their heart and have other women to do life with! This is why I created my Fave Lifestyles.

Fave is for the woman who wants to call Fave her community of women who support, uplift, and make her feel better about herself. I want to create a place where we help her answer life's questions and just do life together!

Let's Do Life Together at Fave Lifestyles

Join Our Community of Amazing Women

Be the first to know about upcoming events, new shows and stories!

Planning Your Big Life Goals

Planning Your Big Life Goals

Have you heard if you “fail to plan, you plan to fail?” It’s a cliché, but inside each cliché
is a kernel of truth. When it comes to setting goals in mid-life and making sure you
achieve them and live your best life, you have to plan your BIG life goals! Are you ever
overwhelmed by the options ahead of you? Your goals may be big to you and that’s all
that matters. Don’t compare yourself and your unique goals to others.

How to Plan BIG Life Goals?

What is a life goal?
Before you jump in, let’s discuss what a life goal is, and what it is not. Life goals are
more meaningful to us because they don’t revolve around short-term objectives or
involve daily routines. Life goals are connected to our values. They are a personal
ambition we’ve set for our own well-being or ultimate happiness.

What are your BIG life goals?
Many of us are so overwhelmed by the possibilities ahead of us or by the lack of
knowledge, the fear of beginning or the fear of failure that we don’t set big goals.

Your life goal could be to climb a mountain, knit a blanket, gain that coveted career
opportunity, pursue a dream you’ve never had time to pursue because you were
working or raising a family.

Why do you want to pursue this goal?
Knowing WHY you want to move toward this big life goal will keep you motivated if the
going gets tough. Your “why” is your driving force, your passion.

Planning for your life goal
Here are my top five steps toward achieving your life goal.
1. Write it down. Write down the goal and place it somewhere you will see it every
day – it will keep you motivated.
2. Break it down. If your life goal is large and seems overwhelming, break it into
smaller steps. Set milestones and deadlines. Celebrate each time you achieve
one!
3. Tell a friend. This will keep the energy of the goal alive. Consider asking your
friend to hold you accountable to achieving it. You could do the same for her.
4. Check in. If you have set a goal that will take you some time – six months, a year
– check in and see if the goal is still something you want to achieve. Goals
change as time goes on. Don’t feel you need to stick with your original goal if
circumstances have changed.
5. Keep growing. Women have the tendency to think of others first and put their
needs second. Carve out time to pursue your goal and any other life goals that
come along.

What is one big life goal you want to start working on before the end of 2019? What
steps do you need to take before you can start?

about

Karen Rae

I was becoming an empty nester, a woman of a more interesting age and in transition. Sound familiar? I was at that place where we question our purpose, value, and worth and what in the world are we going to do with the rest of our lives.

I noticed women have a huge hunger to belong to a community of women where they can feel safe, share openly from their heart and have other women to do life with! This is why I created my Fave Lifestyles.

Fave is for the woman who wants to call Fave her community of women who support, uplift, and make her feel better about herself. I want to create a place where we help her answer life's questions and just do life together!

Let's Do Life Together at Fave Lifestyles

Join Our Community of Amazing Women

Be the first to know about upcoming events, new shows and stories!

How To Let Go Of Limiting Beliefs

How To Let Go Of Limiting Beliefs

It’s all around us; chatter about fleeting youth and the new limitations that accompany a different
stage in life. We’re either told we’re now too old for something or it’s too late to start something
new, or we’ve spent our entire life believing things that limited our courage and inspiration to
step out.

For women who may have spent the better part of our lives as nurturers of our families and quite
possibly out of the paid-work force for quite some time, we wonder where our place now is and
how we fit in.

Sure, we find that outfit adorable, but it's for younger girls. Yes, you think you’d be perfect for
that job opportunity, but your resume may have some gaps that hold you back from applying for
the position. These thoughts are ones we impose on ourselves, and it’s time we learn how to let
go of limiting beliefs and continue to grow into who we were meant to be.

Are Limiting Beliefs Part Of A Mid-life Crisis?

It’s inevitable when we hit this age; we’re called middle aged and that in itself carries
connotations. We also find that things may not be as easy as they once were, and we’re not as
eager to step out into something new because we feel more judged. This can bring about feelings
of depression, failure and lack of purpose.

This doesn’t have to be a crisis, though. You have the power to change these beliefs and you
want to because our thoughts lead to our actions. If we continue to let our beliefs limit our
behaviors, we’ll find ourselves missing out on the many amazing things this life still offers (and
we offer to this life). We have the power to free ourselves to continue to explore who we are and
what we want to do.

Letting Go Of Limiting Beliefs: Recognize Them For What They Are

To change our limiting beliefs, we have to see them for what they really are. Society’s notion of
how a woman’s hair should look based on her age, or what her role in life is based on the age of
her children doesn’t have to dictate what you are capable of, and you shouldn’t let it. Who told
you that you’re too old to find a new love? Why do you think you’re too old to start a new career?
What makes you think you’re not motivated enough to get into the shape you’ve wanted to?

The answer to those questions and more is, “YOU.” While those notions may surround us in our
communities and our day-to-day life encounters, the truth is that YOU are in control of your
thoughts and actions. As you continue to tell yourself those things, you slowly watch them turn
into reality. The good news is that YOU can change, though, and let those limiting beliefs go.

Empower Yourself And Grow!

There are many ways that you can let limiting beliefs go and replace them with healthy,
empowering thoughts once you’ve recognized them as limiting. Surround yourself with people who believe in you, and what you want to do. Drown out the noise with growth-mindset ideas and podcasts, friends and family members. Create a list of goals you’d like to achieve and then create a list of true limiters—lack of funds, lack of physical ability perhaps, but never a societal norm that you don’t have to believe.

Fill your life with positive people, opportunities and beliefs. When you feel discouraged,
question what it is that makes you feel the way you do and analyze if what you’re experiencing is
based on truth or a limiting belief you’ve accepted. Throw it out if it’s another’s opinion; the only
opinion that matters are your own.

Mostly, realize it’s about the journey, certainly not the destination. When you let go of limiting
beliefs, you allow yourself to live in each moment and enjoy them to the fullest. So, let them go
and don’t let anything hold you back!

about

Karen Rae

I was becoming an empty nester, a woman of a more interesting age and in transition. Sound familiar? I was at that place where we question our purpose, value, and worth and what in the world are we going to do with the rest of our lives.

I noticed women have a huge hunger to belong to a community of women where they can feel safe, share openly from their heart and have other women to do life with! This is why I created my Fave Lifestyles.

Fave is for the woman who wants to call Fave her community of women who support, uplift, and make her feel better about herself. I want to create a place where we help her answer life's questions and just do life together!

Let's Do Life Together at Fave Lifestyles

Join Our Community of Amazing Women

Be the first to know about upcoming events, new shows and stories!

10 Must See Ted Talks for Middle Age

10 Must See Ted Talks for Middle Age

We have shared blogs, books, and podcasts that are amazing resources for middle age
women and today we are focusing on Ted talks. TED Talks are an incredible resource
and we’ve found ten you must see when you want to change your life for the better!

The Power of Vulnerability. Best-selling author and researcher Dr. Brene Brown
shares how important our ability to open ourselves up and be vulnerable really is.
Brown’s emphasis on our levels of empathy and love connecting us to our fellow
humans will make you laugh and cry as you see how important being brave enough to
be vulnerable is. Instead of being afraid, she’ll inspire you to be bold, and in doing so,
you’ll find yourself more motivated to share your life. It’s already been viewed and
shared by millions around the world, and you’ll be moved by her goal to help us
overcome shame and guilt to live freer lives. 

How To Build Your Confidence And Spark It In Others. Brittany Packnett is an
educator, an activist and a writer who knows that truth will provoke people into
action. She uses the value of importance and truth to encourage us to be confident in
our gifts and our talents and in doing so, we’re able to spark others to be so as well. In
this Ted Talks, she shares three ways to do this and motivates you to take that
revolutionary confidence to ignite a fire in your life and in the world. A must-see for
those who want their reality to be the stuff their dreams are made of.

The Difference Between Healthy and Unhealthy. Katie Hood is the CEO of the One
Love Foundation, and as such, she believes that if we are able to educate young
people about what healthy and unhealthy relationships look like, we can put an end to
abusive behavior in relationships. This could reshape an entire generation to have
healthier and more fulfilling relationships, and it’s a great listen for those of us who
may have been in (or are in) unhealthy relationships ourselves. 

The Price of Shame. Monica Lewinsky bared her soul and shared how her reputation
turned on a dime on a global scale. She calls herself Patient Zero in what’s become a
toxic culture of humiliation and public shaming that’s so blindly accepted because it
often means dollar signs. Lewinsky bravely shares the need for the culture to be
different, to protect us all. 

My Year Of Saying Yes To Everything. Acclaimed writer and actor Shonda Rimes
shares the discoveries she made in her life as she spent a ‘year of yes.’ in order to
recover her ‘hum.’ Rimes calls the feeling of totally being in the groove and feeling
like you're doing just what you were meant to do the ‘hum,’ and this talk about her
year of yes is a moving picture of what getting the hum back looks like when the fire’s left your mind and soul. She’ll help you learn how to ensure you can always keep your hum going too. 

Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy
gave this viral TED talk (one of TED’s most-watched ever) to share how body
language doesn’t just affect how others see us, but how it can affect how we see
ourselves. She details the concept of ‘power posing,’ in which your posture exudes
confidence even if you don’t necessarily feel it—sort of faking it until you make it
based on your body language. She shares how to boost your feelings of confidence
and increase your chances of success in life. 

The Power Of Believing You Can Improve. Psychologist Carol Dweck goes in-depth
on the power that stands behind having a ‘growth mindset’ instead of a fixed mindset.
Sharing that our brain’s capacity to learn and grow never has to diminish if we keep a
growth mindset, she talks about ways to look at problems in life. Consider a problem
that may seem difficult—is it too hard to do, or just not done yet? Her talk motivates
you to have flexible thinking in order to tackle the smallest to most substantial
obstacles in your path.

Grit: The Power of Passion And Perseverance. This one will leave you motivated to
work harder than you ever have toward your passions and your dreams. Highly
successful consultant Angela Lee Duckworth talks about how leaving the corporate
world and taking a job as a 7th Grade math teacher taught her what the true measure
of success was: Grit. She talks about the power of IQ, but only in relation to the power
of passion and perseverance when success is the end goal, and you’ll be empowered to
reach for your dreams because you’ll have the experience of trials and triumphs in
your life as your backstory.

The Art Of Being Yourself. Founder and CEO of IDOLOGY, a movement that is
dedicated to helping you be your most fully original and authentic version of yourself,
Caroline McHugh shares tips on putting yourself to work that fulfills your potential
and brings you joy. She talks about a True Mirror—finding your truest self and
knowing there is not another in the world quite like you. She believes that alone
should bring levels of confidence never seen before in our lives, and when we realize
it, the world is our oyster.

How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over. A must-listen from highly successful criminal
lawyer and career and relationships expert Mel Robbins. She gives you the truth,
hard-core but with tough love, about how you need to stop letting the status quo be
okay. When we don’t force ourselves to better ourselves, we miss out on so many
opportunities. Robbins shares how to turn off our inner-snooze buttons and take life
by the horns.

about

Karen Rae

I was becoming an empty nester, a woman of a more interesting age and in transition. Sound familiar? I was at that place where we question our purpose, value, and worth and what in the world are we going to do with the rest of our lives.

I noticed women have a huge hunger to belong to a community of women where they can feel safe, share openly from their heart and have other women to do life with! This is why I created my Fave Lifestyles.

Fave is for the woman who wants to call Fave her community of women who support, uplift, and make her feel better about herself. I want to create a place where we help her answer life's questions and just do life together!

Let's Do Life Together at Fave Lifestyles

Join Our Community of Amazing Women

Be the first to know about upcoming events, new shows and stories!

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