What is YOUR Call of Self?

What is YOUR Call of Self?

I was on a call with my prospective teacher, Dorothy (Didi) Firman Ed. D., and we were talking about why I was interested in the Coaching training and certification program she conducts.  “I am not sure!”, I started, “I am so frustrated and tired of trying to make this “thing I want to do, this transition coaching thing work.  I don’t even know why I am doing it; I should just close it down!”  Didi was quiet for a moment or two and then she started laughing and said “well…you can try to ignore that call of self…good luck with that!”  And deep inside I knew she was absolutely right.  This deeply held, heart-strong conviction of the work I am here to do in the world will not go away.  It is my Self, my deepest center, my place of connection to the Divine Source, calling to me.  It IS my Call of Self.

The name Call of Self comes from the Psychosynthesis School of Psychology which is what I practice and teach.  But there are other names from other traditions that include the process of transformation that includes self-awakening, deeper self-knowing, and a journey that leads to a life of deeper connection and meaning.  It can be called Vocation, Calling, Gift or Talent.  Whatever you call it the meaning has a big of magic to it…it is bigger than a job or profession or career.  It is deeper, and it touches you in the deepest part of your being.  It is more than interest or desire to do something that seems interesting, it is a deep, deep need from the depths of your being.  It is something you know you need to do in this life because your life will not be complete without it.   

There are some lucky souls, those old souls, who hear and respond to their Calling at a young age.  I have a daughter who is one of those lucky souls.  She discovered her passion, her Call of Self in her college years.  She continued to educate herself and grow into her professional self in the years following college.  It was amazing to see and to be a part of, to be on the edges of the swirling energy.  The energy, the passion, the joy was incredible to be around.  And the really important point is that it called to that same desire in me!  It helped me to ask myself, what in me has that same energy and passion and joy.  It really led me to start the journey to discovering my own Call of Self.  As we, each one of us, answer our own Call of Self, we exude that same energy, passion and joy…and we give that gift to someone else!  It is a gift that continues to give, to ourselves, and to those we encounter day by day. 

And I have another daughter who is so like me.  She is going to learn many lessons about what she doesn’t want before she commits whole- heartedly to her passion.  And she will, it is in her DNA, just like it is in all our DNA.  I believe deeply that we were created by a Divine Creative Being whose greatest desire is for each one of us to life filled with passion, joy, creativity, and the soul-deep satisfaction of answering our own Call of Self.

If you have the deep-seated knowing that you are absolutely doing the right thing to bring joy, and passion and energy into your life and into the world, Congratulations!  Keep it up, share it, invite others to be a part of it, light the way for others to find their own Call of Self.

If you are feeling there is something missing, that there is a something in your being that is just waiting to be brought into the world then I invite you to find a quiet spot.  Close the door, turn off the phone and the computer, light a candle and get comfortable.  Connect into that deep place that has something to tell you…and listen…listen for your Call of Self.

Transition Life Coach | Energy Psychologist | Creative Arts Facilitator
www.wisetransition.com

about

 

Karen Herold

 

 

After 30 plus in the business world Karen Herold considers herself a recovering CPA, finance and executive management business leader. She left her business career to pursue a master’s in transpersonal psychology followed soon thereafter by certification as a psychosynthesis life coach. She brings her wisdom and knowledge as a yoga teacher, creative expression arts facilitator, energy psychologist and a life transition coach to each coaching session. Karen is also a member of the faculty at Sofia University. Karen empowers and encourages her clients to embrace Transition as an Invitation to envision, create and manifest their next stage in life as one that is filled with Purpose, Meaning and Value. Karen is a contributing author to The Call of Self: Psychosynthesis Life Coaching, which is a journey to understanding transpersonally oriented life coaching where she shares her experience of the intersection of life coaching and volleyball coaching.

Karen is the mother of three adult daughters…all of whom she coached in club volleyball at one time or another. She is also grandmother to four young grandchildren and is recently married to her loving husband Chris.

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Do You Live a Creative Life?

Do You Live a Creative Life?

After 30 years in the world of business I said good-bye to accounting and management and began a new journey.  It was a Friday when I finished my last day as the CFO of small commercial insurance company, the final position I held in the business world.  The next day I flew to San Francisco to begin my Master’s in Transpersonal Psychology education with a week-long seminar at a retreat center in the mountains outside of San Jose.

When I first began to investigate this Master’s degree program I saw that there were three areas that I could specialize in for my education.  I would need to choose one of them by the end of the first year.  The three choices were Spiritual Psychology, Life Coaching, and Creativity and Innovation.  I immediately threw out Creativity and Innovation because well…I can’t draw! I was undecided about which of the other two I would choose but I was leaning towards Spiritual Psychology.

I knew that the classes focused on Spirituality, and included body psychology, both areas that wanted to dive deeper into.  What I didn’t appreciate was that there was also a strong focus on creative expression during the first year classes.  I soon found myself coloring, drawing, creating poems, writing, dancing, singing, listening to music and many other outlets of creative expression.  And to my great surprise I LOVED these parts of my classes with a joy that deeply surprised me.  The creative expression assignments felt like play, and they brought a new excitement into my life.

Prior to starting my Master’s field of study, I had not realized that I there was little time spent in play or playing creatively in my too busy life.  This had not always been the case.  From the time I was around 11 years old I sewed.  My mother was a talented seamstress who passed her sewing knowledge and skills on to me.  My first job in high school was in a fabric store where the discount on fabric and the creative ideas of our many customers invited my creative energy to blossom.  My love of sewing led me into many other crafts that fed my need for an outlet for all my creative energy.

But then the ultimate creative outlet for a woman happened, I had three babies.  The priorities of working, driving kids to their many activities, running a home, coordinating all the schedules of a busy and active family of five and at the same time fulfilling the extremely important role of mother in the family edged out any time or energy for creative pursuits.  Or so I thought.

The more time I spent in learning about Creativity and Innovation the more aware I became of myself as a creative being…and as all humans as creative beings.   From my Judeo-Christian perspective I saw this as a reflection of a Divine Creator who created us in the image and likeness of the Divine.  If the Creator is creative and we are created in the image of the Creator, then we are also creative.  That means that at the very of root of our being one of our most basic needs, drives and desires is to create.

As I took more classes and began to experience more assignments around looking at things in a new, creative or innovative way I began to challenge my belief that I am not creative and came to embrace the fact that I am a very creative person.   What I realized is that creativity is not limited to “art”.  Creativity is a way of living your life.

The definition of creating uses words like imagination, bringing something new into existence.  Living creatively and with innovation means being open to new ideas, new methods, new devices, to something new.  At the core living a creative life means being open to new thoughts, ideas and ways of being.

The final chapter of my story?  I am sure that you have already figured that out.  When it was time to select a specialization for my Master’s I chose a double degree, Spiritual Psychology AND Creativity and Innovation.  I just couldn’t walk away from myself as a creative being once I embraced that new knowing.  Let me help you find that knowing for yourself.

Transition Life Coach | Energy Psychologist | Creative Arts Facilitator
www.wisetransition.com

about

 

Karen Herold

 

 

After 30 plus in the business world Karen Herold considers herself a recovering CPA, finance and executive management business leader. She left her business career to pursue a master’s in transpersonal psychology followed soon thereafter by certification as a psychosynthesis life coach. She brings her wisdom and knowledge as a yoga teacher, creative expression arts facilitator, energy psychologist and a life transition coach to each coaching session. Karen is also a member of the faculty at Sofia University. Karen empowers and encourages her clients to embrace Transition as an Invitation to envision, create and manifest their next stage in life as one that is filled with Purpose, Meaning and Value. Karen is a contributing author to The Call of Self: Psychosynthesis Life Coaching, which is a journey to understanding transpersonally oriented life coaching where she shares her experience of the intersection of life coaching and volleyball coaching.

Karen is the mother of three adult daughters…all of whom she coached in club volleyball at one time or another. She is also grandmother to four young grandchildren and is recently married to her loving husband Chris.

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Who decided it should be called the Empty nest???

Who decided it should be called the Empty nest???

The EMPTY NEST…it sounds so…empty and sad!

The name itself suggests that this stage of life is missing something. A nest is supposed to be filled with eggs and the young and we are supposed to be feeding and caring for those young. Once the nest is empty then it is not fulfilling its purpose. WOW, what do we set ourselves up for with this name???

Of course, there are feelings of sadness and loss and grief with the ending of the child-rearing years. And there should be! Things that are important to us bring sadness when they end. The child-rearing years are wonderful, hard, challenging, incredibly busy, ever-changing and they lead us to grow in ways we never would have on our own. When those years come to an end they deserve our grief. But that feeling of emptiness need not define the next stage.

I feel that this next stage in life invites us to many exciting opportunities. We have maturity and experience. We have had enough experience to know what we like and hopefully, we have the maturity to know ourselves, both our strengths and our weaknesses. We also have the freedom to discern what our heart is telling us to fill it up with. Rather than spending our time focused on feeding and caring for our young which is wonderful and amazing, we can broaden our focus towards taking all of the gifts that we were born with and have developed as Mothers and use them in ways that serve our neighborhoods, communities, society, our world. We can make a difference. I see nothing in living a life focused on living with purpose and meaning and values that say “empty nest”.

Clearly, we need a new name for this exciting time in life. Teresa Barthol https://www.facebook.com/teresa.barthol calls this time in life The Third Quarter. I like this because it speaks to the Arc of Life and reminds us that just because we are post-kids, post-menopausal, post-anything doesn’t mean that we are post-living. We have so much life to live, and so many gifts and skills and knowledge and wisdom to share.

I think my choice for this time in life is the Full Heart stage. My heart is full with my husband, my family, and friends, and answering the Call of my Heart in my work. It is full of joy and creativity and play. Yup, I am sticking with calling this time The Full Heart stage!

Transition Life Coach | Energy Psychologist | Creative Arts Facilitator
www.wisetransition.com

about

 

Karen Herold

 

 

After 30 plus in the business world Karen Herold considers herself a recovering CPA, finance and executive management business leader. She left her business career to pursue a master’s in transpersonal psychology followed soon thereafter by certification as a psychosynthesis life coach. She brings her wisdom and knowledge as a yoga teacher, creative expression arts facilitator, energy psychologist and a life transition coach to each coaching session. Karen is also a member of the faculty at Sofia University. Karen empowers and encourages her clients to embrace Transition as an Invitation to envision, create and manifest their next stage in life as one that is filled with Purpose, Meaning and Value. Karen is a contributing author to The Call of Self: Psychosynthesis Life Coaching, which is a journey to understanding transpersonally oriented life coaching where she shares her experience of the intersection of life coaching and volleyball coaching.

Karen is the mother of three adult daughters…all of whom she coached in club volleyball at one time or another. She is also grandmother to four young grandchildren and is recently married to her loving husband Chris.

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Are you feeling the “Empty Nest Squeeze”?

Are you feeling the “Empty Nest Squeeze”?

I am a very happy empty nester! I have launched my three daughters, they are all three married, successfully employed (or intentionally not!), starting their families, acquiring homes, doing all the wonderful, exciting, joy-filled things that young people do. I have had a few years to revel in this stage and to share time with them and without them and to rediscover who I am as a woman separate from her children and separate from my identity as “Mom”.

The past few weeks have a new reality in my life. A couple of weeks ago I was taking care of three of my grandchildren while their parents were taking a well-deserved break. The last day I was babysitting I received a call from another daughter who was at my parents’ house. She had answered their call for help as my mother was experiencing a health challenge. My parents knew I was not available and had finally thought of calling my daughter who lives relatively close by. It all worked out ok, but I felt a new feeling that day. I felt the squeeze of helping my daughter by caring for her kids and at the same time handling details of the care of my aging parents from a distance. I wanted to be in both places at once, I wanted to support all these very important people in my life, and I did, in one way and another. But there was another truth that hit home after things settled down and that is the truth that I am not a young person anymore and I need to take care of myself also. My resources of energy are not as endless as they seemed to be when I was younger. I was exhausted. BUT I have learned a few tips along the way.

Communicate –

This is the most important tip. Talk to your parents about what they need and what you are available for and then talk with them about resources. Talk to your kids about what you are available for and what you need help with. Allow them to be part of the grandparent support team.

Identify Your Resources –

Who can help? Who will help? Who wants to help? Who can you rely on? What can you delegate to other people?

Make a plan –

After this last medical challenge, my parents and I sat down and developed a plan for what we would do in the future when I am going to be out of town. We have a list of people they will notify when I am going to be gone who have agreed to be available to support them if needed.

DO NOT try to do it all yourself.

I feel like I need to say this a few times in bold letters for all the Moms reading this. DO NOT TRY TO DO IT ALL YOURSELF. BECAUSE you don’t have to. You can be smart about this, and you can communicate, get support and make a plan before it’s needed.

Make Self-Care a priority

In order to care for others, you must first care for yourself. Rest, eat well, do what you need to do to make sure that you are well. Because that’s the best way to be ready and able to support those you love.

The Empty Nest Squeeze may be waiting around the next corner for you, but with some good awareness and intention, you can support all the people in your life and still get to enjoy the benefits and blessings of this third quarter of life.

Transition Life Coach | Energy Psychologist | Creative Arts Facilitator
www.wisetransition.com

about

 

Karen Herold

 

 

After 30 plus in the business world Karen Herold considers herself a recovering CPA, finance and executive management business leader. She left her business career to pursue a master’s in transpersonal psychology followed soon thereafter by certification as a psychosynthesis life coach. She brings her wisdom and knowledge as a yoga teacher, creative expression arts facilitator, energy psychologist and a life transition coach to each coaching session. Karen is also a member of the faculty at Sofia University. Karen empowers and encourages her clients to embrace Transition as an Invitation to envision, create and manifest their next stage in life as one that is filled with Purpose, Meaning and Value. Karen is a contributing author to The Call of Self: Psychosynthesis Life Coaching, which is a journey to understanding transpersonally oriented life coaching where she shares her experience of the intersection of life coaching and volleyball coaching.

Karen is the mother of three adult daughters…all of whom she coached in club volleyball at one time or another. She is also grandmother to four young grandchildren and is recently married to her loving husband Chris.

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Open the Door to Possibility

Open the Door to Possibility

As a coach I use a lot of tools to help my clients discern, understand and integrate truths about their life and their history as they move towards manifesting their goals. This is a key step in the coaching relationship as the goal of coaching is to help the client reach their goals. The reason a client seeks coaching support can vary greatly from something very concrete like wanting to clean the clutter from their house to something very internal and personal such as being more heart centered. The coaching process supports the client in moving towards all types of goals, which makes it an extraordinarily useful and successful way to move towards the goals in your life. A crucial part of the coaching process is overcoming the obstacles a client experiences as they move towards their goals. When there is something that gets in the way of reaching that goal, like a habit, a pattern, a resistance to taking a step, a fear or feeling frozen or stuck then I have many practices and tools in my toolbox that a client can use to develop understanding of the obstacles. One of my favorites is this next exercise titled the “Life as a Metaphor Exercise”.

Write down 3 things that happened in childhood that were important, positive or negative, and only one line for each one.
1)
2)
3)

Do the same for 3 important things in your life right now.
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2)
3)

Write down 3 outcomes that you would like to see unfold for yourself in the future.
1)
2)
3)

Take those 9 lines and write a one-page fairy story, fantasy or mythology, that uses those key guiding principles. Do not feel bound by reality, the presence of human characters or anything else. Tell a fantastic (and quickly written) story that uses these 9 key themes.

I love this exercise for several reasons. Writing this myth of your life is a creative process and I love to see the gifts of increased self-awareness through the creative flow as they blossom for my clients. I like how writing this myth reminds us of memories of childhood stories, books, movies and shows that had meaning for us and that we loved. I like the playful aspect of it, and at the same time there is a strong invitation to increased self-awareness and self-understanding. Finally, the process of writing a myth sparks our imagination, which is a lovely experience that invites us to enter that imaginative state more often. You may wonder how this exercise can aid in overcoming obstacles. The simple answer is that it opens the door to seeing your problem in a new light. As you move through this exercise you are invited to see your problem through the lens of myth and in the world of myth…anything is possible. Possibility is the opposite of living inside the box of your current understanding of your problem. As we open to imagination, we begin to imagine all the ways we can move towards our goal.

If you would like to experience possibility through many types of exercises, tools and practices I invite you to contact me at karen@wisetransition.com.

Come imagine, play, create and reach toward your goals.

Transition Life Coach | Energy Psychologist | Creative Arts Facilitator
www.wisetransition.com

about

 

Karen Herold

 

 

After 30 plus in the business world Karen Herold considers herself a recovering CPA, finance and executive management business leader. She left her business career to pursue a master’s in transpersonal psychology followed soon thereafter by certification as a psychosynthesis life coach. She brings her wisdom and knowledge as a yoga teacher, creative expression arts facilitator, energy psychologist and a life transition coach to each coaching session. Karen is also a member of the faculty at Sofia University. Karen empowers and encourages her clients to embrace Transition as an Invitation to envision, create and manifest their next stage in life as one that is filled with Purpose, Meaning and Value. Karen is a contributing author to The Call of Self: Psychosynthesis Life Coaching, which is a journey to understanding transpersonally oriented life coaching where she shares her experience of the intersection of life coaching and volleyball coaching.

Karen is the mother of three adult daughters…all of whom she coached in club volleyball at one time or another. She is also grandmother to four young grandchildren and is recently married to her loving husband Chris.

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