Step 2: MAKE A DECISION BEFOREHAND:

a. Look at the menu before you go.

b. Ask what will be served before you go.

c. Then make a written plan before you go.

Yes, write down what you’ll eat and what you will CHOOSE NOT to eat.

This helps your brain follow through and build’s trust within yourself. d. And do it with this thought in mind: I’m learning to have my back with food.

Step 3: If your brain thinks, yeah whatever, “have my back with food” “I just want to eat all the things…I want to blow it!!!” STOP.

Then give your brain 90 seconds to deep breathe to comfort itself.

Don’t put anything in your mouth.

And ask yourself what type of comfort or need you are wanting that you’re trying to fill with food.

If you feel calm and in control after the 90 seconds, awesome. Stick to your eating plan.

If not, breathe for another 90 seconds then ask:

Ask: What need am I trying to fill deep inside with this food?

How can I comfort and calm myself without food now?

IF YOU’RE NOT SURE…

One option is to envision yourself as a child and when she first felt this way.

Then envision giving her a hug and telling her what she wanted to hear then.

Tell her:

“I love you”. “I’m here for you”. “I’m not leaving you”. “I’ve got your back”.

Let it in.

Take 4 deep, slow breaths and…

Repeat if necessary.

And so you are aware….

You’re not alone…this is a human brain wiring thing.

We all need comforting.

And when we need comforting…

It’s usually ONE OF THE FOLLOWING NEEDS THAT IS GOING UNMET when you think you’re going to “BLOW IT”:

A. NEED FOR CONNECTION/LOVE/COMFORT B. NEED FOR “CONTROL” OR SAFETY C. NEED TO FEEL ENOUGH (ENOUGH TIME, $$, RESOURCES, DONE ENOUGH) D. NEED TO FEEL WORTHY E. NEED FOR RELAXATION/REST/SLEEP F. NEED FOR FUN/ CREATIVITY/CREATION/VARIETY/ADVENTURE G. NEED FOR EXPRESSION (IS THERE SOMETHING YOU’RE NOT SAYING OR DOING OR OWNING) H. NEED FOR LEARNING AND GROWTH I. NEED FOR HEALING, FORGIVENESS

(Because you are sad, grieving, lonely or have past wounds that you ruminate on) J. NEED FOR JOY/FULFILMENT/PURPOSE

These are just a few of the background unmet needs and emotional stressors that most don’t realize are driving the “I’m afraid I’m going to blow it” mentality.

Kind of fascinating huh?

This is what I help my clients do in my 6-month Emotional Freedom Weight-Loss Program.

We unlock & heal their Unique Emotional Stress & Unmet Needs Patterns so they no longer run the show and drive them to “blow it” with food.

And then they create Emotional Freedom from food!. And you can too.

Love,
Candy

p.s. If you’re ready to stop the “I’m going to blow it self-sabotage cycle with food”

AND…you’re ready to be done with Emotional Eating and Peri/Menopausal Weight Gain for the LAST TIME…

THE BEST WAY to do that is to hire me as your coach.

I WILL help you solve this for the last time. I guarantee it.

MESSAGE ME TODAY to start that process with a complimentary coaching strategy consult call NOW.

about

Candy Wright

 I help women over 50-ish+ Create Freedom from Emotional Overeating, Lose up to 50lbs and fall in love with their aging bodies so they can use that energy once consumed by all the harsh voices about their weight and bodies to live the life they really want to be living.

In her 6-month, 1:1, online coaching program, Candy has helped dozens and dozens of mid-life women who struggle with weight gain as they hit middle age no longer struggle with sugar addiction, heal their relationships with food, with their aging bodies, their minds, their emotions, and their lives. She’s helped them free up all that emotional and mental energy they used to use to beat themselves up about food to now start businesses, get promotions and raises, get married in mid-life, and heal their relationships with their grown children, with their partners, siblings, parents and friends.

When she’s not loving on and serving her clients, from Bellevue, WA, you’ll either find her walking and laughing with her hubby, John, who is her hero, along the gorgeous lake view trails (when it’s not raining) or pretending she’s on Broadway singing musical tunes in the house and car.

Practicing Self Love? Self Appreciation Law Is Necessary To Love Yourself!

You think you have a willpower or a follow through problem – AKA: Can’t make yourself stick to healthy habits.

And you feel so embarrassed because this is so not you. You are a woman of great strength so why can’t you do it with food???

My friend, that’s not it at all.

The problem you have isn’t willpower or follow through.

You know what it is?

The problem is that you have a human brain with a pre-factory installed “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” and you don’t understand how to work with it instead of against it.

Also Read: It’s Time to Love Yourself

And this “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” goes into stall, stop and stuck mode when you don’t know how to work with it.

What is this “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” you ask?

First of all, it’s factory installed…meaning if you have a human brain…nothing’s wrong, this is what human brains do.

It’s basically a mental R.O.I. (return on investment) calculation system that is running in your mind ALWAYS ON DEFAULT.

This system kicks into gear when you consider undertaking a new goal.

Then it starts to calculate how much energy it will take you to get to that end goal.

Then it tells you: HOLY COW it’s going to take a lot of energy to get there from where you are right now to ALL the way over there, what are you thinking??

Then when you don’t have the tools to understand this about your brain and how to work with it, you feel, overwhelmed, afraid or discouraged (or maybe even shame or self-pity).

And it will sound something like this in your head: “Um…You probably don’t want to even start, that will be too hard, it will require too much energy, you should already know better, what are you thinking-you can’t do that?”

Also Read: Love How To Be A Lover

Except none of that is true.

That’s just what it sounds like when the brain is trying to tell you that you have several steps to between where you are and where you want to go.

This pre-factory installed “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” only sees where you are and where you’re thinking of going.

It CANNOT see the steps in between…

I like to call it the Law of Self-Appreciation:

1. The more you truly appreciate yourself, actively…

2. The more your own self-appreciation bucket fills…

3. The more you are instinctively compelled to give back kindly to yourself.

4. It’s an exchange of cognitive energy that re-fuels YOU.

And then you have much more capacity to give to others as you want to…

Because your bucket is full and not running on empty…

(like we usually do because we’re judging ourselves so much).

So…now I’ve made my “case” for self-appreciation…I invite you to do this for yourself now.

Ready…pull out a piece of paper and do this.

Really, please give yourself this gift this weekend…

I’m going to now be vulnerable (so you can too) and share some of my lists of practicing self love.

How to create self love?

I recommend doing this at least once a week or maybe even daily, writing down 1-2 things/day.

Write down your list of practicing self love…and email it back to me if you’d like accountability. Candy@candywright.com

I’d LOVE to rejoice in your self-appreciation with you.

My list of practicing self love:

1. I appreciate myself for never giving up.
2. I appreciate that I always have a little seed of faith that I can and will figure things out.
3. I appreciate my style…
a. The colors I wear because it’s a reflection of my heart and the love I stand for.
b. I appreciate that I like to dress slightly retro because it reminds me of my maternal grandmother… and that brings such a smile to my heart.
4. I appreciate my face. I see my mom, my dad, my grandmothers, and my sisters in my face all the time.
5. I appreciate my love of learning.
6. I appreciate my short stubby toes. They are my mom’s toes. They are short and stubby-isht and my second toe isn’t longer than my big toe. All my sisters have these toes too.
7. I appreciate that I never bought into the myth that you get heavier and more unhealthy as you age.
8. I appreciate my legs. They are sexy. I have lifted weights for a while now and my legs have never looked like this.
9. I appreciate all the work I’ve put into building my compassion muscle for others and myself… (because it used to be really weak)
10. I appreciate that I value myself to invest in myself and honor my needs.
11. I appreciate that I faced my fear and did karaoke years ago.
12. I appreciate that I am committed to give my hubby the benefit of the doubt & believe that he is always doing everything from love…
13. I appreciate that I learned self-love so that I never think about changing something about my body from disgust or resentment or hate…**.**
14. I appreciate that I have done all the work to start my own business doing what I always dreamed of doing.
15. I appreciate that I’m a great friend.
16. I appreciate that I’m a great wife.
17. I appreciate my love of children.
18. I appreciate my love of people.
19. I appreciate my love of the color pink.
20. I appreciate my nose.

I’m going to stop here for today…

This exercise was rich for me; I learned a lot; it filled me up which made me want to give even more to you.

Now that you know how to create self love, I invite you to do this for you…this is one of the best “how tos” you can to build your self-love muscles.

And since I am a Stop Emotional Eating Coach…I have to share that the self-love muscles we develop…

Will ALWAYS affect what you put in your mouth and don’t.

Happy self-appreciating everyone!

Love,
Candy

about

Candy Wright

 I help women over 50-ish+ Create Freedom from Emotional Overeating, Lose up to 50lbs and fall in love with their aging bodies so they can use that energy once consumed by all the harsh voices about their weight and bodies to live the life they really want to be living.

In her 6-month, 1:1, online coaching program, Candy has helped dozens and dozens of mid-life women who struggle with weight gain as they hit middle age no longer struggle with sugar addiction, heal their relationships with food, with their aging bodies, their minds, their emotions, and their lives. She’s helped them free up all that emotional and mental energy they used to use to beat themselves up about food to now start businesses, get promotions and raises, get married in mid-life, and heal their relationships with their grown children, with their partners, siblings, parents and friends.

When she’s not loving on and serving her clients, from Bellevue, WA, you’ll either find her walking and laughing with her hubby, John, who is her hero, along the gorgeous lake view trails (when it’s not raining) or pretending she’s on Broadway singing musical tunes in the house and car.

You think you have a willpower or a follow through problem – AKA: Can’t make yourself stick to healthy habits.

And you feel so embarrassed because this is so not you. You are a woman of great strength so why can’t you do it with food???

My friend, that’s not it at all.

The problem you have isn’t willpower or follow through.

You know what it is?

The problem is that you have a human brain with a pre-factory installed “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” and you don’t understand how to work with it instead of against it.

And this “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” goes into stall, stop and stuck mode when you don’t know how to work with it.

What is this “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” you ask?

First of all, it’s factory installed…meaning if you have a human brain…nothing’s wrong, this is what human brains do.

It’s basically a mental R.O.I. (return on investment) calculation system that is running in your mind ALWAYS ON DEFAULT.

This system kicks into gear when you consider undertaking a new goal.

Then it starts to calculate how much energy it will take you to get to that end goal.

Then it tells you: HOLY COW it’s going to take a lot of energy to get there from where you are right now to ALL the way over there, what are you thinking??

Then when you don’t have the tools to understand this about your brain and how to work with it, you feel, overwhelmed, afraid or discouraged (or maybe even shame or self-pity).

And it will sound something like this in your head: “Um…You probably don’t want to even start, that will be too hard, it will require too much energy, you should already know better, what are you thinking-you can’t do that?”

Except none of that is true.

That’s just what it sounds like when the brain is trying to tell you that you have several steps to between where you are and where you want to go.

This pre-factory installed “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” only sees where you are and where you’re thinking of going.

It CANNOT see the steps in between…

It’s like if you’re planning a trip, of course there are going to be many miles between where you are and where you’re going to be…expecting there to be a teleporter that shoots you straight to Santorini, Italy, the moment you say you want to go…well, at least in today’s reality, it’s just not how things work.

So, you have to understand how to do the steps in between to get where you want to go.

It’s doesn’t work to let “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” think that it’s either teleportation to your goal weight or stay stuck and discouragement where you’re at forever.

SO…

It’s taking the steps in between that MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE to actually hitting the goal.

So, start with one small step at a time:

STEP 1: To lose the weight, FOR GOOD, it’s crucial you catch the “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” and say, hmmm…isn’t that interesting…I can see that there are several steps to get to my goal…and that’s OK.

STEP 2: Set a specific goal including: what by when: EX: I’ll lose 30 lbs. in 4 months by Aug 31, 2020.

STEP 3: Expect your brain to feel overwhelmed, afraid, discouraged etc. after you set the goal. Tell yourself: “This is just the “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” worried about spending too much energy. I just need to remember to break it into small in-between steps.”

STEP 4: DO THE ACTUAL MATH AND PUT THE PLANNED STEPS ON PAPER:

EXAMPLE GOAL: LOSE 30 LBS IN 4 MONTHS by 8/31/20
EXAMPLE MATH: that’s approximately 1 lb. a week for 32 weeks
EXAMPLE PLAN:
Week 1: I will plan my meals for the week, and I will plan proteins, fats and veggies in at all my lunches and then celebrate my wins and evaluate my week.
Week 2: I will continue with what I’ve been doing and start eliminating sugar and flour 4-5 days a week and celebrate my wins and evaluate my week.
Week 3: I will continue with what I’ve been doing and not snack between meals & celebrate my wins and evaluate my week.
Week 4: I will continue with what I’ve been doing and work on getting proteins, fats, and veggies in at my dinners now too and evaluate my week.
Continue to map it out week by week, step by step.
STEP 5: Your brain may not want to map it out. Do it any way. This is just the “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” thinking it’s teleportation or nothing kicking in again.

So go back to Step 1: Math and Plan: Break down the planning: I’ll plan for 30 or 60 min today @ 12 and I’ll plan for 30 or 60 min tomorrow @ 12 if I need more time.

When you work with your “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” by doing these 5 steps…

You build self-trust.

You build self-confidence

You build self-love

You build self-empowerment.

You start losing the weight and you understand exactly how to start keeping the weight off for good and then you do.

This is what is possible.

This is what I help you do in my 6-month, online 1:1 coaching program. I teach you how to work with your “All or Nothing Default Thinking System” so it’s so much easier, so that you have support to walk through these steps until they become your default system, you lose the weight for good and have no doubt you’ll ever gain it back.

One of my clients this week said: “This is the most results I’ve ever received from a program and so much more helpful than ALL the years of help I’ve gotten.”

Happy Friday,

Love,

Candy

p.s. if you’re ready to stop being stuck in the “All or Nothing Default System” and you’re ready to stop expecting teleportation and you’re ready to commit to taking care of you step by compassionate step, I can help you. CLICK HERE TO APPLY TO WORK WITH ME NOW.

p.p.s. You may be nervous to ask for coaching because you think you should know better or you’re ashamed because you think you should be able to know and do this on your own. That’s Ok. I want you to know, you actually shouldn’t know. This is NOT something most people grow up learning. So, it’s actually rare when people do. It’s a toolbox to be learned and is totally within your reach

about

Candy Wright

 I help women over 50-ish+ Create Freedom from Emotional Overeating, Lose up to 50lbs and fall in love with their aging bodies so they can use that energy once consumed by all the harsh voices about their weight and bodies to live the life they really want to be living.

In her 6-month, 1:1, online coaching program, Candy has helped dozens and dozens of mid-life women who struggle with weight gain as they hit middle age no longer struggle with sugar addiction, heal their relationships with food, with their aging bodies, their minds, their emotions, and their lives. She’s helped them free up all that emotional and mental energy they used to use to beat themselves up about food to now start businesses, get promotions and raises, get married in mid-life, and heal their relationships with their grown children, with their partners, siblings, parents and friends.

When she’s not loving on and serving her clients, from Bellevue, WA, you’ll either find her walking and laughing with her hubby, John, who is her hero, along the gorgeous lake view trails (when it’s not raining) or pretending she’s on Broadway singing musical tunes in the house and car.

Have you ever had a dream in your heart about a goal you wanted to achieve but
it seemed far away.

Maybe, it may have even seemed kind of impossible?

Think back to that time.

Really, do it now: think back.

Did you do it?

If you turned your dream into a goal and you accomplished your goal, can you
see what it was it in your mindset that got you to follow through and accomplish
it?

What was it?

Ask yourself.

I’m a coach, so yep, I’m going to have you do some introspection.
If you didn’t turn your dream into a goal and didn’t accomplish the goal, can you
look back and see what was happening in your mindset that had you not
accomplish it?

These may be leading questions…but go with me here.

What was it then?

I know we’ve all been on both sides of a dream and a goal, right?

I know I’ve been on both sides.

Let me share about a time when I had a serious dream that I so wanted to turn
into a goal and then turn into reality about 6 years ago.

I dreamed that it was possible to stop struggling with mid-life weight gain.
It had been creeping up and I was feeling worse and worse about myself and my
body.

At first, when I thought about that dream, it wasn’t quite a goal, it seemed
impossible, it seemed scary and it seemed hard and big.

When I first started to think about and get more serious about making it a goal, I
was afraid that I couldn’t accomplish it and I was afraid I’d keep failing after so
many tries.

And guess what? When I was afraid, it didn’t work, I couldn’t do it long-term.

And that was the key: understanding that fear didn’t work to accomplish a goal.

But when I learned the tool of love, yes it’s a tool, my brain made that dream into
a goal into reality.

This is what I learned through that process:

There are 2 types of mindsets you can be in when it comes to losing weight over
50-ish (or for creating any life goal change).

You can be in a FEAR mindset or a LOVE mindset.

FEAR MINDSET SOUNDS LIKE:

“I can’t do this”
“It’s too hard”
“But I’m so tired, I don’t want to have to think about it, I’ll just grab something”
“I can’t believe I got this way“
“But I love eating food, I can’t imagine not having that drink, treat etc.”
“I am so afraid of failing, I can’t bear to fail again”
“I don’t have time to do this (this one is masking I’m not a priority to me and
I’m ashamed I’m not)”
“I don’t believe I can”
“I should know better“

LOVE MINDSET SOUNDS LIKE:

“I’m learning to love myself in this process of losing weight”
“It’s not about being good or bad or perfect or not perfect, what if it’s about
loving myself no matter what?”
“I’m choosing to have my back“
“I’m learning to trust myself“
“I’m learning to commit to myself and follow through“
“I’m learning that I am in charge of the love I feel for myself“
“I’m always in charge of how I treat myself and I choose to be my biggest
fan.“

Which one do you find yourself in more often?

Which one do you think wins?

Which one do you think loses the weight and keeps it off for good (or
accomplishes their goal)?

Yep. Love. Every time.

Why?

Well, science actually.

The fear emotion ignites from our survival fight/flight system and its energy
is finite.

It cannot maintain long-term change.

It’s only job is to keep us safe from the “tigers” that “could eat us”.

And the emotion of real love and compassion comes when we are
connected to our pre-frontal cortex, the problem solving part of our brain.

So, learning how to be aware of our minds and help them move from the fear
system to the love system is the game changer for long-term change.

You may ask, OK, but HOW?

Well, start with the LOVE MINDSET thoughts above and start practicing them
on purpose and if it’s challenging to feel they could be true, just start being
curious about IF they could be true, that usually helps you start to feel more
comfortable that they are.

I’ll share more in next month’s article about more of the how.
If you’re not winning at weight-loss over 50 (or any age or with any life goal) it’s
because you’re in a FEAR MINDSET.

Being in a LOVE MINDSET is not intuitive, it’s not instinctive.
It requires learning a simple process of self-love, self-compassion and self-
forgiveness.

Most people don’t know this process so you don’t need to think you should
already know it and be able to do it on your own.

I’ll share more in next month’s article to help you understand how to get
closer to a LOVE mindset to create long-term change (yes, I mean
permanent, as in forever).

Can’t wait to see you next month.

Love,
Candy

about

Candy Wright

 I help women over 50-ish+ Create Freedom from Emotional Overeating, Lose up to 50lbs and fall in love with their aging bodies so they can use that energy once consumed by all the harsh voices about their weight and bodies to live the life they really want to be living.

In her 6-month, 1:1, online coaching program, Candy has helped dozens and dozens of mid-life women who struggle with weight gain as they hit middle age no longer struggle with sugar addiction, heal their relationships with food, with their aging bodies, their minds, their emotions, and their lives. She’s helped them free up all that emotional and mental energy they used to use to beat themselves up about food to now start businesses, get promotions and raises, get married in mid-life, and heal their relationships with their grown children, with their partners, siblings, parents and friends.

When she’s not loving on and serving her clients, from Bellevue, WA, you’ll either find her walking and laughing with her hubby, John, who is her hero, along the gorgeous lake view trails (when it’s not raining) or pretending she’s on Broadway singing musical tunes in the house and car.