This topic of Moving Mom & Dad is one I have spoken on to groups in Retirement Centers, YMCA’s, Special interest clubs, and to my circle of clients and friends.
The whole idea of Moving is overwhelming! I speak from experience as a Realtor who is witness to the stress produced in the process, my personal experience of moving 12 times in my adult life, and the recent experience with my own parents in the process of their life transitions into Care communities.
Mom & Dad moving in the 3rd quarter of their life is the one that brings stress to the entire family in a way no other move impacts us. It’s often & experience involving long established family dynamics. Moving from the family home is not emotionally easy at any point.
I’ve been thinking about Sara Kay, a poet of the spoken word. I first fell in love with her work when she did a TED talk “If I should have a daughter…”
I have listened to that production more than once & with several people as well. It’s a gem in my opinion and maybe it relates to this idea of moving Mom & Dad. It’s about the love we wrap up in relationships and expectations too. It’s a hard thing to move from being a daughter to be the Mother. Remembering that the Mother doesn’t think she should be displaced in her Mother Role.
My Dad was easy about things, not too attached to any house or stuff. Well, maybe the tools.
My Mother was forced to live alone early on as my Dad needed more care then she could provide him with at home. There was a loneliness about that time & the daughter advise was not the most welcome conversation. That’s what I find with clients and friends that talk about the experience too. Not the most welcome conversation. It is a conversation to procrastinate about for sure.
To take note from Sara Kay’s poetry. If Love was the first thought!
To do what my husband & I do when things get crazy. Its from Sara Kay’s poem we found the words. “What Three things do we know for sure” From that clarity, we can begin to take the challenge and see it from the life of the Mom who sits alone at home with her little doggy, reflecting back on life and what is next for her.
My Mom passed away earlier this year and the question was asked of me recently. What do you wish you could have had conversations about? That’s a tuff question. What I know for sure are three things.
- Mom loved her daughter (me) & I loved her
- She wanted to be in charge of everything to the day she died.
- For all our (my brothers & myself) attempts to change things, she did not let go until it was too late to deliver the messages that were deep in her heart.
What Three things do you know for sure? Share your heart with your Mom, I say! Feel free to reach out if you want to discuss any aspect of the process, I’m happy to listen & provide resources for you.
Warm hugs to those in this time with parents.
Teresa Barthol -Managing Broker with eXp Realty Seattle. Brings 22 plus years’ experience to consult with clients about real estate in the 3rd and 4th quarters of their lives. . With longevity in Real Estate Teresa loves to share her optimistic problem solving skills, creative out of the box thinking along with her enthusiasm for great outcomes. “Believe,” she will say, your desires in life will be realized. Teresa focuses on Lifestyles to Live within the four walls you call home.
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