Does this sound familiar? You noticed that you are applying all the knowledge you so painstakingly learned in order to accomplish something important to you and it isn’t working the way you thought it would? I have experience this many times. What I have discovered is most times the reason I’m not moving forward in the way that I would like has nothing to do with my proficiency at implementing actions or knowledge in the area that I want to move forward in. And that trying harder doesn’t work. I’ll share a story to illustrate this.
A very successful client of mine was feeling frustrated. She was helping others to heal their lives and become financially successful, however she was frustrated that her own financial success was eluding her. As we worked together we discovered that at one point as a young mother many years earlier she had decided to stay home with her young children and let go of her high paying career. She was adamant that money would not be a distraction from being a good mom. When she realized that it was her own decision keeping her from welcoming financial abundance in her life now that her children were grown. It became apparent that all she had to do was make a new decision to welcome finances into her life again. Since making that decision her organization has grown in leaps and bounds since that very important – aha.
Another client had been trying to reach her goal of a firm, and youthful body, however every time she began her workouts she would pull a muscle a few weeks or months later. This made it impossible to continue her routine. This pattern happened for years and it was very frustrating because she loved the way exercising made her feel emotionally as well. After working with her we discovered that as a very sensitive and caring child she allowed herself to shine less brightly around her sister who struggled with confidence. There were several levels to her history; she was also afraid that her sister might reject her and exclude her from her social circle which happened many times. This was very emotionally painful for her. She just wanted to be accepted and loved and wanted others to feel good too. When she understood her fears something inside her clicked. She was able to see that this wasn’t serving her anymore. She had a great relationship with her sister these many years later. The fear of hurting others by being her best self was released and she no longer suffered from injuries during her workouts.
Our subconscious is very strong and depending on our understanding of a situation will try to protect us. Our subconscious mind is where hidden blocks are stored.
But how do you know when something hidden is holding you back and how to change it? Just pay attention to how you feel. If you are experiencing; frustration, anger, heaviness, lack of energy, anxiety that doesn’t make sense these are all sure signs of a hidden block.
Relaxing and Revealing
When I work with clients there are several powerful methods I use to find their personal hidden blocks. In this article though, I can share that the best way to move past a block and get into inspired solutions and actions is rather simple….relax about it. I know it sounds too simple however let me explain.
All of those emotions I mentioned in the previous section are different expressions of fear. When your mind body and water connection experiences fear it constricts the processes of your body and brain (read more in my article The Secret to Having More Energy). Simply put we are literally “dumber” when we are experiencing stressful emotions such as anger, frustration, shame, embarrassment, fear, and guilt etc. All of these emotions become our “reactions” to situations.
If we choose to “relax” about the situations we find ourselves our brain gets into a supportive flow. The result is we get new ideas, solutions, and clarity. Note: The following exercise is not about changing the situation it is about changing how you FEEL about the situation. This is the secret to accessing meaningful solutions.
Stress Isn’t The Real Problem
Stress isn’t the problem in our lives, not knowing how to relieve stress and access relaxation is the real problem. Here is a powerful exercise for you to access a relaxed response to your situation.
Exhaling Exercise – Create a moment of reflection where you are not distracted.
- Breath in deeply 3 times – this creates a relaxation response in the body.
- Think of the situation that is bothering you, assess how you feel about it. Rate it on a scale of 1-10. Write it down.
- Breathe in deeply and then exhale until you cannot exhale anymore while thinking of the issue that is bothering you. It is important to have the intent of “exhaling” any aspects of the situation that are not healthy for your mind and body of water. You can close your eyes if you wish.
Reassess the level of intensity of how you feel. Do this until you feel lighter about the issue. Most importantly when you are feeling lighter take time to answer the following questions and write down your answer to solidify it in your mind.
“What is the new lighter perspective on this issue?”
“What is the next logical step I can take to move forward comfortably in this situation?” Write it down and take the step.
Some clients have different new ideas that come up that they hadn’t thought of before or had already considered however hadn’t acted on it yet. Suddenly the idea of acting on it makes logical sense and feels very doable.
Most clients realize that there isn’t a step they have to take because, without realizing it, they had been taking on someone else’s issue which they now realize isn’t their responsibility to figure out. Their action step is – to let go.
Good health to you as you relax your way to success on your unique journey. Blessings.
Diana E. Ruiz
Grief Recovery Method® Specialist
Diana E. Ruiz, M.A.
Diana E. Ruiz MA helps women entrepreneurs resolve deep losses in life and relationships through practical steps so they can feel good in their skin again and experience their true brilliance in life and business. “The work Diana does is personally freeing and liberating…the added bonus? I am on fire in my business!” Rae Anne Hall – CEO Forward Principles – Diana is an Author, Grief Recovery Method Specialist®, Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner
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