The Free Dictionary has a compelling definition of the word relentless. It means, “firmly, often unreasonably immovable in purpose or will or existing or occurring without interruption or end.” You are relentless. Almost everything in this book up until now has been centered on some of the challenges you may have gone through or may go through in the future and how to cope and live a happy life in spite of them. Now, to say that “you are relentless” means to keep moving forward with every bit of energy that you have.
A ninety-nine-year-old gal who I worked with once told me, “Tiffany, I’m tired, I’m ready to die.” You probably think that given her age, it’s not entirely unreasonable to feel that way, and it isn’t. I said to her, “You know honey, I understand. However, at the same time, it’s not your choice to decide whether it’s time for you to die, it’s God’s choice. Since you are still here you have more work to do; you still have a purpose. You might not know what that purpose is right now; you might not know what it might mean for other people to still have you here on this Earth. There’s more for you to do, and I want you to keep living every day that you can, and I want you to live life relentlessly.” She recently passed away at a hundred and one; she was a lovely lady, and she stayed lovely until the day she died. She had two more years of life to live after we had that conversation. You must understand that when your life ends is about God’s timing not about how you feel.
Just like somebody hurt you in the past, every action and inaction that we take has a ripple effect on the people around us; you need to think about the collateral damage. You may be tired of fighting; you may be tired of struggling through whatever battle you’re in whether it be cancer or depression or insecurities. It could be the struggle of autism or dyslexia or bipolar disorder, or just being misunderstood by the people around you and the stigma that labels bring. But during all this, you must remember God doesn’t make mistakes. There are people around you that still need you to continue your fight. You might not have even met these people yet but the fact is that God doesn’t make any mistakes. God didn’t put you on this Earth to suffer and doesn’t allow you to go through hardships that you can’t handle or bear. You are stronger than you think, so for the sake of the people that need you and the people in the future that will need you, you have to fight relentlessly, no matter what!
However, if you feel lost and need help there are people around you who can help you with what you’re going through. It may not be the people that are immediately around you, because the people you are surrounded by could very well be the problem, but people who can help you are out there.
I’ll tell you about an experience I had when I was in high school. I’ve always been a plus-sized gal; I wasn’t as plus-sized as I am now, but, back then, it wasn’t as common to see people who are overweight as it is nowadays. Back in high school, I think I wore about a size fourteen, I was big. I was well under 200 pounds, but since I was just a little over five feet tall it was a lot of weight on my frame. I’ve always been told, “But you have such a pretty face,” by my family and friends. Part of me knows they mean that to be a compliment, but for another part of me, it also implies other things.
So, in high school, when it came time for nominating the homecoming court, most of the school voted for me to be homecoming queen as a joke. I knew it was supposed to be ironic because they also nominated the boy in the school that everybody teased because he always had greasy hair and was a loner, as homecoming king. As you might be able to imagine, it was hurtful and humiliating. Thankfully, I had some friendly teachers in the school. They made sure that my nomination was removed and, naturally, a gorgeous girl in the class was voted for. Still, the situation ended up being quite the joke, I was quite the jest. I continued to have to spend my days with the people that did this to me, every day. Back then, bullying was commonly discussed like it is now, but was not appropriately handled. I even got bullied by quite a few teachers in high school. The words that they used against me were not great.
However, deep within me, I was relentless. I was immovable in my will, and in my purpose, I was firmly planted. Did being bullied make me sad? Of course. I was being bullied by people who were around me all the time, and that could very well be the case for you as well.
When you’re in situations like that, you need to find the people that truly love you, care for you, and support you; it doesn’t matter how many there are. The truth is that they’re out there, though sometimes they’re hard to find. Whether you are being bullied in person or being cyber-bullied, there is help. Maybe you’re dealing with drugs or alcohol or some other affliction and you feel like you need help. There are support groups that can help. If you’re severely depressed, please talk to somebody, ask for help.
When you’re going through tough times, when you feel like it’s just you, when you feel like you’re alone, remember that you are not alone in this world. You are not alone unless you choose to be! The truth is, there are so many people whose lives we touch in ways we don’t even know.
Find your support, find your tribe, and find your relentlessness. Relentlessness is the ability to keep fighting and keep improving our human condition no matter what life throws at us. I believe that every single person is capable of being relentless, including you. You just have to find it within yourself.
I love the word ‘relentless.’ A lot of people think its negative, but it’s not. It is so powerful. Imagine yourself as a warrior; an unwavering being that cannot be swayed by hardship; a person that falls, but gets back up stronger and more confident; a person with an unmeasurable will to keep fighting their battles, coming out on the other side a stronger person. I believe that that person is within you; I believe that person is you.
Think about your diamond. When a diamond is faceted, the parts that are cut off become diamond dust, exceptionally fine dust that sparkles as the light hits it.
Those parts were cut off you and turned into dust for a reason. Go out and gaze at the night sky, at the beautiful stars up there. There are billions of stars out there. If you need to jump into your car and head out of the city limits to see them, do it! Stars are everywhere, scattered beautifully across the sky. Now, imagine your diamond dust having been carried by air into the sky to be those stars. See all the lights? The sky would not be complete without them, just as you would not be complete without them. You are perfectly flawed and rarer than any diamond!
Financial advisor I Speaker IAuthor
Tiffany L. Gough has been in the financial services industry since 1990. Over the years, she has helped many through some difficult times while working on their financial goals. She is a financial advisor with an office in Seattle. In her debut book, "You are perfectly flawed and rarer than any diamond!", she shares some of the tools that helped her with her challenges as well as others. She grew up in Seattle. She is married and has two grown bonus sons (aka stepsons) who reside in Toronto, Ontario Canada.
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